I have a different perspective. When I die, it won't matter what my favorite song or photo was, I'm dead. For those who would like to remember me, what is actually important is the memories they have of us. The song that we enjoyed together, the photo of our day together in the mountains, the time we were stranded in a strange city. These are the things that matter to the living, not our personal preferences. However you view yourself, everyone in your life has a completely different version of you in their minds and in mourning, that is the you they grieve the loss of. I understand the instinct to "honor" the wishes of the dead, but they are not here to witness it. The remembrance of that individual and their true legacy lies in the cumulative memories of those that remain. By allowing the cumulative experience of those that came in contact, it can allow us to broaden and deepen our view of those that passed. Once we're gone, the opportunity for lasting impressions or reconciliation leave with us, but those that remain can, communally, share their versions of us and find acceptance and closure. The internet is not real life and our digital experiences pale in comparison to those real moments we spend together.
this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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