Microblog Memes

Every time you log in, maximize a window, lock your PC, etc, your desktop icons randomly arrange themselves by penis. Open a folder, forced to display files as icons and arranged by penis. Try to view all your open windows on your desktop, you guessed it, penis.

There was a guy in my dorm who really didn't like his roommate. Really, really didn't like him. This was in the early aughts.

So one day he goes on his roommate's computer and puts a text file in his startup folder. The file says, "Your computer has been infected by the Snood virus!"

For context, Snood was a free video game people downloaded in the early aughts. Basically the same as Bust-A-Move, which probably doesn't clarify anything if you didn't already know what Snood is.

Anyway: "Your computer has been infected by the Snood virus! If you don't score [extremely difficult but not completely unrealistic high score] points, all of your files will be deleted!"

He laughed to himself and promptly forgot about it.

Weeks later, the roommate is on his computer in the middle of the night.

"What are you doing up? Go to bed."

"I can't. It's this stupid Snood virus."

Autohotkey script that shuts the system down whenever someone types out certain key words. They of course include words related to looking up the issue like "help", "randomly", "virus" and so on. Not the most sophisticated but one I've actually done before.

Edit: Forgot to mention that ahk needs to be installed and the script must be placed in the autostart folder. Both can be achieved on a coworker's or family member's machine with a ducky usb stick.

Simple, every now and again switch a key input with a neighboring key. Imagine slowly losing your confidence in your motor skills as you just can't seem to type properly no matter how careful you are.

It would do it like once every 10-1000 minutes, you will never catch it and slowly lose your grip on reality.

In the early 90s there was a virus going around that made the floppy drive's loading noises play the Imperial March.

I used to make a batch file that opened a command prompt that opened the batch file again and again and put it on the computers as the internet Explorer logo.

People would get so mad when they opened it as a cascade of cmd would open until the computer crashed

So something like that i think

used to be fun at the office to take a screenshot of someone desktop, and make it the desktop background, then put all their icons into one folder.

On somethingawful back in the day if you were on any one page on their forums for more then about 20 minutes, a audio clip would play that said something like "HEY EVERYBODY I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO"

I don’t remember the details but my mom’s first cousin called me once to fix her computer when I was a teenager.

No matter what she typed it came out as, “I AM FUCKING GAY!”

Seems like all I had to do was type “stop”.

Uhh, it was "Hey everybody, I'm looking at gay porno!" and then it proceeded to spawn hundreds of internet exploder windows pointing at goatse.cx. Thank God I was at home, alone, when it got me.

Supposedly there was a DOS virus that would spawn a pacman that would eat your letters as you typed them.

The version I recall was once if those Flash animations with a cute squirrel or whatever saying something... but it was really quiet so you'd need to turn up the volume to hear. Then partway through it changed to sex stuff and blasted out in a voice like a monster truck announcer

"anal sex dot com, all anal, all the time!"

In my highschool programming class we made a TSR (in Borland pascal) that would change every 15th keypress to an "e". It wasn't self propagating, so it wasn't a virus per day, but it was highly annoying. It survived on memory after the netware logoff, and you could only get rid of it by rebooting.

We also had these everex brand 286 or 386 computers.... They had a little LCD screen that would read out what sector/track was being read on the disk. We found the memory address (80h) where we could write arbitrary text to the LCD. That was fun.

I have made some silly programs. One that moved the mouse pointer one pixel left, then down, right and up. It was quite annoying. Another that moved the mouse pointer when you reached the edge of the screen, touching the rightmost pixel row would move it to the left side of the screen and vice versa, same thing with top and bottom.

How about a programm which screams "aaaaaaa" after you unlock your screen. Barely hearable at first and it gets louder with every minute. People who don't know how to remove it would have to lock and unlock their screens every 5 minutes or so.

While the computer is on, at random intervals, it shall play the sound of a smoke alarm's low battery beep using audio technology to make it sound like it's coming from somewhere else in your house.

albanian virus.

back when I was in school someone wrote a script that just openened the optical drive at random intervals and put it in the Autostart of every PC in the Comouter room

A screamer virus could bring the world to its knees.

When I was in high school I made a .bat file that autoran when you put it in a device. All it would do is open the disc drive every 90 seconds however it did convince one teacher that she had a virus which caused giggles all around.

A virus that changes Windows' sticky keys to only requiring two taps of the shift key.

Im afraid to post my obnoxious virus idea as I don't want mailboxes filled with job offers from microsoft and other big tech.

Finds anything and everything that can be set to dark mode and sets it back to light mode, but not while you're using it and not immediately.

On my dads computer, back in the day, I set the sound for every action in Windows to a silly song i downloaded off kazaa (Windows xp days, i believe)

So this was the sound that played for clicking the start menu, hovering over programs/apps, whatever it was and making that menu appear, and any sub menu for individual games or apps following that. Any kind of prompt like errors or "are you sures" etc, minimising/maximising a window. Everything!

That's what my virus would do. I just need the perfect sound to apply. Maybe that annoying tiktok song "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no no no!"

Occasional mouse and keyboard lag up to 1 second.