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Advice for Anxious/Scared Dog (lemmy.world)

submitted 20 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hi Lemmings!

I have a 3.5 yo Pit Bull Terrier/Mini Pinscher mixed breed that is always anxious and scared of her own shadow.

For the past year she has lived with me in my new home, which unfortunately backs up to a landscaping supply company that operates machinery that makes a lot of noise during the day, and also is on a fairly busy road that sees a lot of traffic (and people with horrible muffler systems that would wake the dead).

When she first came to my new house she would have accidents, which is understandable. She eventually got comfortable enough with going out back to use the bathroom, and would let me know that she needed to go. In fact, if I do t respond within a minute of her sitting at the back door, she will bark so I notice her. I love it. I couldn’t be prouder.

But, during the day especially, when she goes outside she gets scared by the landscaping supplier noises, cars backfiring/diesel trucks, or neighboring dogs barking, and will immediately turn back to come inside. I have to then go out with her and command her to “go potty”. And even then, she will often try to fake like she peed, or she will flee mid poop and run back to the door. During the evenings, she’s not as scared, and is even adventurous with exploring the back yard.

She is even scared of most of the house itself: something about the kitchen terrifies her, which sucks because to get from the living room to the rest of the house she has to go through the kitchen. And the only places she really feels comfortable are in the bedrooms.

Lately she seems to have regressed with the household accidents; mostly if I leave her unattended for any length of time; e.g. grocery shopping, dropping off or picking up my kids from somewhere, etc. if I crate her when I leave, she’s fine. However, she is not comfortable in her crate — she slinks all the way to the back of the crate, and curls up into the tightest ball she can and trembles the entire time.

She is difficult to train. It originally took 2 years to get her house broken, and in that time she’s only learned sit and lie down. I have hired a dog trainer, and have tried PetSmart training for the social aspect. Both instances were lackluster. She is not food motivated like other dogs. Or, at least maybe I just haven’t found the right food to motivate her with.

I am starting to feel overwhelmed by her accidents and inability to focus through her fear; I’ve even lost my temper a few times and yelled at her for it. I understand that does not help her situation, and I do not want to give up on her (or me). At least not if there are still things I can try to help build her confidence.

With all of that said, my question is for any advice that I can use to help build her confidence, break through her ~~fight-or-~~flight reactions, and get her feeling safe in her own home.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Others have left some detailed and interesting responses. I'll keep mine very short.

Drugs.

Talk to your vet about drugs. Some people need anti anxiety meds to function. There are a lot of options to try. I won't try to convince you of anything specific but I'm sure your vet can provide some options.

Thanks for reading and good luck.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 13 hours ago

I did try that last year, but it didn’t help. I even went so far as getting CBD dog treats, but after the first one it was fairly useless.

I’d go so far as to say she is very stubborn. 🤣

[–] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm no expert. I can only recommend what I've learned from the dog trainer I hired and my personal experience with a slightly "Nervous Nelly". Find a treat that your dog loves and give it to her when the scary noise happens. Like someone else said, you don't want to reward the fright response, but you do want to build a more positive association with noise. You don't have to start outside. You can do this at home. Get something like a gun-noise app on your phone. Turn the volume down to 1%. Trigger the noise, feed her a treat. Slowly build the volume and start randomizing it so she isn't expecting it.

Try to catch moments at home where she's inside, but the landscaping equipment is running. Loud noise = treat. You want her to learn that the loud noise isn't a bad thing. She's possibly scared of kitchen noises as well because kitchens are loud. Pots and pans banging around, boiling, fans whirring, etc.

My dog isn't food motivated generally, but string cheese and chicken will get her to do anything I ask. What kinds of treats are you using? Sometimes a scared dog isn't going to be interested in food. If someone was actively breaking into my house and you offered me a cookie, I'd probably refuse the cookie. I think the key is to try and find ways to train in isolated environments that don't cause her to go full flight or fight.

My dog used to be very scared of a vent outside in the city I adopted her in. She was afraid of the loud whirring noise. I loved the vent because it blew out hot air, which I loved in the -20F weather. I wanted her to not avoid it because it meant we both lost the heat opportunity lol So I always carried a treat bag on me and I fed her when we passed it. That's all I did. As we approached/passed it, I gave her a treat and said "good girl". By the 2nd week (of doing this daily), she was walking past it without even noticing. She even started to sniff it. I did the same thing with poles (she hates certain random poles. In a line? They're fine. Alone? We groan.). I reward her if she investigates something that seems to make her nervous.

Another couple of pro tips, get a jar and fill it with 1/3 kibble, 1/3 random treats, 1/3 the best treat you can find (that's shelf stable). Mix it all up. Put it on your coffee table or somewhere where she can't reach it, but you can easily grab it. When she hears a loud noise in the house, try to immediately go "treat!" or some command. Then you can quickly grab the jar and slowly feed 1-20 pieces depending on your dog's weight, treat size, etc. The slower the feed, the better. You only want to occasionally hand out many pieces at the same time. The key is being able to respond quickly. They say associations have something like ~10 seconds before they stop being effective. So, if you want to associate a noise with something positive, you have to be quick.

The only negative of this approach is - if you're super successful - she might start looking at you for treats when a loud noise goes off. But hopefully that means her mind isn't focused on the fear aspect anymore. And maybe someday you can redirect her to some other behavior like "place" or "crate" when she hears the noise. Somewhere that's safe and comfortable for her to relax.

Again, this is just what my trainer recommended. Obviously there are tons of caveats. Maybe your dog just isn't going to acclimate and you shouldn't try this forever. Try maybe training to her to enjoy those head wraps that reduce noise (I picked a random website to illustrate the concept. this is not an endorsement). Maybe your dog just needs to go somewhere else sometimes to unwind (e.g., doggy daycare can sometimes be a nice reprieve for some dogs. It can help them relax and get some energy out playing with other dogs). But in my experience, my "Nervous Nelly" tends to be capable of confidence if I give her treats at the right time/place when she's about to be scared by something.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago

If someone was actively breaking into my house and you offered me a cookie, I'd probably refuse the cookie.

I have to admit that this caught me off caused and I LOL’d a lot. But you’re absolutely spot on.

Shelf stable treats are the challenge. She loves that Kraft knock-off cheese, but that won’t work long-term.

And for the rest of the advice, thank you!

PS. I love your username. 😁

[–] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

From a behaviourist's point of view there are 3 things you can do to help her:

1) Reward bravery, and ignore fear. Dog is trembling? Don't use a soothing voice and pet her. You're literally encouraging her to be frightened if you do. It's tough I know as it goes against what 'feels' right. Ignore her. If she jumps up for attention/pets/cuddles let her be near you but don't pet/console. Do your own thing while also letting her hang out if so inclined. If and when she seems no longer afraid then pet her or treat her however is appropriate.

2) Gradually acclimate her to noise Have a TV or radio on in the house to generate ambient noise. Set the volume low to begin. Raise the volume as high as you reasonably can until you get a concerned response from her. Tone the volume down a tick below that and go about your day. Increase the volume a tick after you see her relaxed for a long time repeatedly. If you can have the TV or radio on at a level that doesn't bother you or your neighbours that is good progress

3) Lead by example. Act unconcerned and unafraid of noises. Is she afraid to go outside? Go outside, look around, and call her to you. When she comes, shower her with praise/reward. Then go do something in the yard that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with her. If she flees back inside don't call her back immediately as that may be rewarding her fear with attention. Wait and call her back out after a bit. The longer you hang out outside while it is noisy the more normal it will become in the dog's eyes.

Combine all these strategies in escalating difficulty as she improves. For example, feed her nearer and nearer to the TV/radio, etc... Do you take her for walks? Perhaps as final challenges start walking nearer and nearer to ongoing construction, or the busy street. If you do this last thing don't keep getting closer until she panics. Walk a little bit in the direction of noise and turn 90deg walk a bit and then walk away for that day.

Good luck. This is something that will take a lot of thought, work and patience on your part but she sounds worth it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

Thank you! I’m guilty of attempting to console her when she’s upset. I will try your suggestions out. And yes, she is totally worth it. ❤️

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

Try taking her out on a leash for a while. It may help her knowing you're standing right there with her while she does her business. My pup is afraid of storms, and sometimes refuses to go out if it even looks like it might rain, but she will go out and do her business on the leash.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

It's a tough situation. But in my experience, specially with small dogs who get easily intimidated by this world of giant, often noisy stuff, your best hope is consistency. And that takes time, and a whole lot of patience.

Try to let her know she always has an absolutely safe space in you, and that if she feels uncomfortable she can always seek you no matter the situation. Take time to let her calm down by herself, for her to see there's nothing wrong and she isn't in danger.

You can also try some trust exercises, though maybe at a time when she's more consistently relaxed and trustful. I did that with 3 of my dogs, 1 small and 2 retrievers, and it did wonders in terms of strenghtening mutual trust and knowing in case of an actual emergency they're less likely to panic and run off aimlessly.

Another thing is anticipating stressful situations, and preventing them as much as possible. For example, say you expect to receive visitors, and children among them. Some children tend to overstep the boundaries of pets, which can lead to the pet's panic or worse, self-defense. In this example try to pay special attention to the dog and make sure even if she's a bit nervous about the guests she's safe with you nearby. Goof around with her for a few seconds, speak in a playful tone to her, so long as you signal that everything's ok.

So, consistency. It's hardwork, and it takes a long time, but usually the best bet especially with pets who are sinking more and more into the anxiety hole. Even then it's not a guarantee, as the main disruptors will still be there pushing the other way, but still better than nothing.

Hope this helped in any way, and that you are able to counter this! Cheers.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Thanks! What kind of trust exercises would you recommend that have worked for you?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

Well, for me it was gradual, and luckily I did it while they were still young (<2 years old), which made it much easier.

It ranged from presenting them certain challenges like, say, having them follow me over a small-but-intimidating hole they couldn't easily jump over, or were afraid to. I'd first let them clearly communicate what they wanted (to reach me), then trying to encourage them to jump on their own (knowing they wouldn't, because they were afraid). Then I'd help them once or twice, then back to start. They'd expect me to help them again, but I'd just get closer and encourage them again, providing less and less help until no help was needed. Usually at that part they tended to whine more, but I'd only catch them if I saw they weren't gonna make. And with each step, with each improvement, make a big deal out of it - a big achievement, because it encourages them to aim higher to hear your praise.

In the case of one of them, which I got when he was a puppy retriever, he couldn't even return inside the house because of a step by the door, as his tiny legs made it difficult. He whined, and whined, I helped at the beginning, and when I saw he could do it on his own I let him be until he made it on his own. He whined so much, so loud, and 5 minutes later I see him enter the living room all proud, looking for me. So I praised him a lot, then put him outside again to cement it - again, he whined a bit, but this time he made it faster to us. Repeat again, and this time he didn't even whine, he just did it on his own and never got stuck there again.

Eventually I even got them to trust me to jump into my shoulders from a balcony about 2 meters high, to the point they love it and ask for it - this of course means extra wariness, since if I'm not entirely focused on them, and fail them when they trust me, they lose that trust much faster than they earn it - even if they don't get hurt. My closest dog now even goes on his own to the rooftop whenever one of his toys ends up there, and retrieves it on his own, and jumps around like it's not anybody's business. You don't need to go that far, but that's to say the sentiment is what counts.

Basically any exercise where your dog needs you to help her overcome any sort of mental barrier, since even though you trust she can do it, she does not trust herself. And showing her that you trust her, and that she can indeed make it, and that even if she doesn't you'll be there for her, which will gradually make her trust you even more.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

What about trying a pressure vest? Like a thunder jacket, dog anxiety vest, thunder shirt, that kind of thing. The pressure is supposed to calm dogs nerves. You could also talk to the vet who could prescribe medication for her.