My wife (30F) and I (33M) have been married for almost 10 years. We have two kids (5F & 3M). I own a restaurant in our city and she is an elementary school teacher.
4 months ago we had a very explosive argument that ended in my saying that we should separate. I told my family that we are separating that day, and then she would not let me in our house. I have had to live with my parents and she will barely let me see my kids. I have tried to be more involved with helping the kids with bedtime and such when she will let me, but she is so cold to me and doesn’t seem to want me around. I have been begging her for us to go to a couples therapist but she doesn’t seem to want to at all. I want to work on our marriage and she doesn’t.
Fast forward to now, she wants a divorce. She has a lawyer and told me that I should get one. She says I have not been a good partner to her for years. She said she is so tired of doing everything in the house and with the kids but she chose that. She is only a part time teacher (working half a day) and I run a whole business myself. I have a very demanding job that can end up having long hours. It is a small business so I have a lot of tasks and it is demanding and exhausting, so I usually just get home and shower and go to sleep as I have to get up at 4am the next day. I am working so hard to provide for my family and now the whole thing is falling apart. I love my family and I don’t want my kids to go through their parents divorcing. I want her to put her effort in and go to therapy and work together so our marriage doesn’t fail. So, am i the asshole?