My boyfriend and I are both students and both do drink. Before I met him, he drank pretty much everyday but only until he met me he stopped drinking so much because he wanted to be better for me. Only until recently, he started drinking a lot more now where his only hangouts with friends are just drinking, nothing else, just drinking. He even just has a bottle or two just at home for the sake of drinking. I have explained my feelings towards alcoholism and how I won’t tolerate and want to be with someone who drinks a lot because it makes me very uncomfortable due to trauma.
I told him again yesterday that him getting drunk and drinking a lot more now is really pushing me to the edge where I said if he continues to drink this much I will not be with him, only for him to just be confused and say it’s unfair because how can I drink but he can’t, even though I have like 2 pints once a week (estimate, sometimes just nothing). Sometimes I just go out with my friends and drink when he does and then he gets worried when I do and brings that up although it doesn’t even happen frequently, I just do it sometimes because he is out doing that yet I’m not with him.
I have also told him I’d be cool with us drinking together but he doesn’t even do that with me, it’s just his friends because he’s said “You said you don’t like me drinking so” although I have said I do drink sometimes and I’d be willing to do that with him if you invited me but he never does.
I can’t tell if I’m in the wrong for appearing restrictive, in his words, for telling him I won’t be with him if he continues to drink so much because I don’t want to be that person that enforces these standards or boundaries but it really does make me uncomfortable.