Alright, I'll (46m) make a long story short. My ex-wife (40f) left me two years ago for our nextdoor neighbor, after I found out they've been having an affair for about a year. We have two kids together (5f, 8m). Unfortunately the judge gave us split custody, though if I had my way, she and her new boyfriend would never come near my kids again after what they did. I wish they didn't have to grow up thinking this kind of behavior is acceptable.
Anyways, it's been a long painful process. I'm at my wits end with this divorce. I'm trying to be the mature adult here, but every once in a while I'll have a slip up and call her new boyfriend obscene names when referring to him, sometimes maybe when the kids are within earshot. I know it's not the most mature thing to do, but I can't see why I need to be respectful towards the man who stole my wife and broke up our family.
The other day, my ex wife left me a long voicemail telling me how unacceptable it is to call this guy names in front of our kids. My guess is that one of them repeated an insult to her. Our friend wrote to me to back up my wife, claiming that I was being unfair to my kids.
Out of this entire story, how the hell am I the one being the immature and unfair? I know I'm not perfect, but acting like I'm the monster in this story seems excessive.
AITA?