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Professor Maxine Welkers of the University of Toronto Economics Dept. explains, “Given Americans’ low literacy rates, costly health insurance, and how much animal shit their FDA allows in their food, Canada annexing the U.S. is really more of a humanitarian gesture.”
That line is gold.
And true.
i don't want to be in a country with Ohio though
Hey I'm from Ohio D:
I'm so sorry that you're from Ohio
Hey now, Cincinnati is great. We got chili, we got King's Island, we got a museum with dinosaurs and a lot of historical stuff too, we got Graeter's Ice Cream, not exactly unique to Cincinnati but we have a baseball and football team that we feel very strongly about even if they don't always meet our expectations, we got one of the best zoos and botanical gardens in the United States, while it's not technically Ohio, we have the Newport Aquarium right across the river, we got all kinds of stuff!
Including corn. God we love corn.
oh, I've heard all about your Cincinnati "chili"
Positive things I'm sure. If you don't enjoy Cincinnati chili, are you even living??
Right guys? Right??
(We also enjoy regular chili, my company has an annual chili cookoff. Not Cincinnati chili, just regular chili)
It'll get renamed to 'Oh, hi eh!'
Sorry
Easy fix: Dig an Ohio-sized hole, fill Lake Erie back up with water and call it the Gulf of Intelligence.
Can we make some of them territories so they can’t vote.
The whole thing, can’t risk it. Plus it’s way easier to avoid any attacks on being biased if no.
However, we should make Puerto Rico a province.
Make Puerto Rico their bosses
Canadian territories get to vote though
“But then Trump went and, to use a macro-economic term, ‘shot America in the dick’. So now it’ll be easier to just buy the whole place.”
The greatest line Carney will ever utter.
Woah is there a clip for this
USA? You mean North Mexico?
Invest in yellow light filters for Hollywood cameras, this shit is loco.
I,for one, will welcome our new Canadian overlords with open arms
I would love to be taken over by Canada. Can’t we just give California, Oregon and Washington the Canada please? Like all these MAGAs in the Midwest just love to talk so much shit about California and how terrible it is and how it sucks, so why should they care, right? You’d think they would welcome the idea, right? Oh but we have the big economy, and the ports, and grow a bunch of food, and make a bunch of technology. 🤔🤔🤔
This is like going to the adoption agency and asking for the meanest, most disruptive child and then adopting that one.
We don’t want that dumpster fire. No thank you.
Some of the states are cool. Let MAGA have their own states, so they can find out for themselves how their experiment sucks.
None of the states are cool. Outside of the cities and urban areas its a red majority country. Incredibly racist and misogynist.
Sorry, we can only do with a 4th territory at best.
MY BODY IS READY.
I'll chug maple syrup. Learn to ride a moose. Whatever it takes. But please make this happen.
In Soviet Canuckistan, moose rides you
Nobody doing the math on the number of seats that "province" would have? All other provinces would lose their power. You think the pull Ontario and Quebec have is bad? Hooo boy.
We can do an administrative region, and pull a Puerto Rico on them.
Keep it, we're good.
I do wish USA was like Canada
Just do it already. I'll fight to be Canadian 💪🍁
No thank you
While I would love for the PNW to become Canadian, I feel the only way out is either to secede alongside our fellow blue states (notably CA), or to wait for McDonald's to do its fucking job.
After that, we can rebuild and put not just safety rails BUT HARD LINES THAT REMIND OUR SHITTY ASS POLITICIANS WHO THEY WORK FOR.
We need complete reform because at the moment, I kinda wish the Brits would do what they are known for doing: colonizing other countries. Hell, I'm wishing we didn't have an independence day coming up right now....
Ha! They can keep their wasteland. We don't need it.
Please fucking do this Canada
Hell make us multiple provinces.
New England province
Cascadian province
Great Lakes province
Rocky Mountains province (capitol in Colorado of course)
And the rest: dumbfuckistan
Can I offer you New York State and all the economic power that comes with it? The US can keep Staten Island. We put our garbage there.
Ahhh, finally! Peace!