this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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[–] [email protected] 174 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Professor Maxine Welkers of the University of Toronto Economics Dept. explains, “Given Americans’ low literacy rates, costly health insurance, and how much animal shit their FDA allows in their food, Canada annexing the U.S. is really more of a humanitarian gesture.”

That line is gold.

[–] pelespirit 30 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 months ago (5 children)

i don't want to be in a country with Ohio though

  • sincerely, an American
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm so sorry that you're from Ohio

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey now, Cincinnati is great. We got chili, we got King's Island, we got a museum with dinosaurs and a lot of historical stuff too, we got Graeter's Ice Cream, not exactly unique to Cincinnati but we have a baseball and football team that we feel very strongly about even if they don't always meet our expectations, we got one of the best zoos and botanical gardens in the United States, while it's not technically Ohio, we have the Newport Aquarium right across the river, we got all kinds of stuff!

Including corn. God we love corn.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

oh, I've heard all about your Cincinnati "chili"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Positive things I'm sure. If you don't enjoy Cincinnati chili, are you even living??

Right guys? Right??

(We also enjoy regular chili, my company has an annual chili cookoff. Not Cincinnati chili, just regular chili)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

It'll get renamed to 'Oh, hi eh!'

Sorry

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Easy fix: Dig an Ohio-sized hole, fill Lake Erie back up with water and call it the Gulf of Intelligence.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago
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[–] Typotyper 36 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Can we make some of them territories so they can’t vote.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The whole thing, can’t risk it. Plus it’s way easier to avoid any attacks on being biased if no.

However, we should make Puerto Rico a province.

[–] Typotyper 9 points 2 months ago

Make Puerto Rico their bosses

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hell no. Puerto Ricans overwhelmingly voted for Orange babboon.

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[–] HellsBelle 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

“But then Trump went and, to use a macro-economic term, ‘shot America in the dick’. So now it’ll be easier to just buy the whole place.”

The greatest line Carney will ever utter.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Woah is there a clip for this

[–] HellsBelle 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh shit i'm commenting on a beaverton article

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

USA? You mean North Mexico?

Invest in yellow light filters for Hollywood cameras, this shit is loco.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You really, really don't want the whole thing.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

New Yorkers rejoice knowing they're no longer the rudest countrymen now that the Quebecois are included

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I,for one, will welcome our new Canadian overlords with open arms

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I would love to be taken over by Canada. Can’t we just give California, Oregon and Washington the Canada please? Like all these MAGAs in the Midwest just love to talk so much shit about California and how terrible it is and how it sucks, so why should they care, right? You’d think they would welcome the idea, right? Oh but we have the big economy, and the ports, and grow a bunch of food, and make a bunch of technology. 🤔🤔🤔

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We don’t want that dumpster fire. No thank you.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Some of the states are cool. Let MAGA have their own states, so they can find out for themselves how their experiment sucks.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

None of the states are cool. Outside of the cities and urban areas its a red majority country. Incredibly racist and misogynist.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

This is like going to the adoption agency and asking for the meanest, most disruptive child and then adopting that one.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

MY BODY IS READY.

I'll chug maple syrup. Learn to ride a moose. Whatever it takes. But please make this happen.

[–] Voroxpete 7 points 2 months ago

In Soviet Canuckistan, moose rides you

[–] moonbunny 12 points 2 months ago

Sorry, we can only do with a 4th territory at best.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Keep it, we're good.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nobody doing the math on the number of seats that "province" would have? All other provinces would lose their power. You think the pull Ontario and Quebec have is bad? Hooo boy.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

We can do an administrative region, and pull a Puerto Rico on them.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

I do wish USA was like Canada

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Just do it already. I'll fight to be Canadian 💪🍁

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

America needs intervention to put it back in line

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Please fucking do this Canada

Hell make us multiple provinces.

New England province

Cascadian province

Great Lakes province

Rocky Mountains province (capitol in Colorado of course)

And the rest: dumbfuckistan

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Ha! They can keep their wasteland. We don't need it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

No thank you

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

While I would love for the PNW to become Canadian, I feel the only way out is either to secede alongside our fellow blue states (notably CA), or to wait for McDonald's to do its fucking job.

After that, we can rebuild and put not just safety rails BUT HARD LINES THAT REMIND OUR SHITTY ASS POLITICIANS WHO THEY WORK FOR.

We need complete reform because at the moment, I kinda wish the Brits would do what they are known for doing: colonizing other countries. Hell, I'm wishing we didn't have an independence day coming up right now....

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can I offer you New York State and all the economic power that comes with it? The US can keep Staten Island. We put our garbage there.

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