cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/57579403
If anyone needs a transcript I'll write it.
I shall abuse these toaster powers thoroughly and for my own amusement. Every toaster on the planet will go off at the same time!
this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2025
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Teleporting 7 inches still sounds kinda badass, would be very useful in a fight or you could just stand and repeatedly teleport to recreate that OK GO video.
None? Lol
I'm torn. Kinda curious about what oysters are thinking, but pretty sure Einstein could run faster than me.
I don’t think he can run very fast now though 🤔
It doesn't specify Einstein's age. Plus this ability would be priceless for people in wheelchairs.
Didn't think about the wheelchair thing, good point. Anyway, I got a shitty cardio, during most of his time on earth, old Albert who have beaten me in a 100m sprint.
- and scan the sam artists with their cups back!
"What is the meaning of toaster?" Is a powerful question. Either able to push buttons and push levers down if the intent is toasting bread, or making a heat coil glow with the intent of cooking bread. Either way, the nuclear industry would be ratically altered. Theres also just a industrial toast factory secretly sponsored by big "nuclear" deticated to making, shipping and toasting bread as slowly as possable. With propaganda for toast simmar to "Got Milk?"
Please, someone tell me where I can find a full Sub of these! I love these so much.
If I grow a second nose, will it also be stuffed up? If so, I choose teleportation. I know it's only 7 inches but that's enough to get around most doors so it's still useful.
Both noses will be running all the time, but just as fast as the noses of Albert Einstein.
That depends on how thick both you and the door are. Still, its probably the best one there.
cureently doing a massive landscape job, then moving to a friend's place for same and putting in a bunch of paving. free gravel pls
Speaking a dead language would be cool. Maybe teach it to others and read into the history, etymology and people of it. Talk to historians and what not.
I COULD DO SO MUCH MORE COCAINE WITH ANOTHER NOSE
3 will get you past most any locked door or fence.
Only if you are thinner than 7" minus the thickness of the door. Otherwise, you would teleport right into the door, which (I assume) might be quite painful.
Good point.. It's not as far as I thought
Who defines what is a toaster? Could the whole universe be considered one since it heats up bread? Yes, it does some other stuff in the process but so do some other toasters.
Since we are toasted, yep
I think 3 is the most useful. You can use it to reach things just out of your height range and maybe as a party trick. I'm sure there are other uses for it too, given enough time I could probably think of some other uses too.
There's no mention of a cool down. You can repeat it as soon as you've fully materialised at the first 7–inch destination. Assuming teleportation is immediate, and there's no refractory period, the distance limit is effectively meaningless.
There's no rule saying I can't pick more than one so
2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8
toaster control, if there's no limits I can fire toast as fast as a bullet
for me 🤔it's a toss up between 1 and 2.
1 can lead me to pearls = money 2 I can create a gravel for sale business = money.
I guess I choose 1 just to communicate with something weird. 2 is the easier one.
Just because you can communicate with them doesn't mean they want to talk to you.
you don't know if I'm into that sort of thing.
Looking 10 hours younger would go crazy as an autopsy thing in a murder mystery
How often can you teleport?
Free Mike Gravel for life!
Control the toaster in a smart home that's connected to the system and hack into the security system to kill the inhabitants and hand over the building to homeless and mutual aid organizations #eattherich