The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/iDSS_ on 2025-03-07 00:46:00.
I (17M) live with my father and grandma (84F). I got home from school today to find a package from my mother. I don't see or talk to her often (she lives across the country) and was unsure of what to expect - especially due to our strained relationship. I told my grandma that I was going to go downstairs and open it. She said that then I would just be carrying it up and down the stairs, so I told her that I was going down there anyway to do my schoolwork (I am autistic so I don't always understand implications or non-verbal cues). She told me to "open it up here" because she wanted to see what was inside. I was a bit uncomfortable because I had wanted to do this in private, but agreed and sat down in the living room to open it up.
I opened it and found some treats. I had already taken them out when my grandma came into the room. The next thing in the box was (ik it's stupid) my favorite pair of socks. I took them out and put them in my backpack when my grandma asked what it was. I replied that it was socks and she told me she wanted to see. I said that "it's just socks" and gestured to where they were visible on top of my schoolwork. She got upset and started going on about how I wouldn't share, was so secretive for no reason, etc.. I didn't respond because I figured she'd calm down. She left the room grumbling about me under her breath while I finished unpacking the box.
She came back in and demanded (angry, raised voice) I get out because she didn't want to see me. I got up to put the food away and she told me to get all my stuff because she didn't want it in there. I told her I'd be right back and left the room. She again started complaining about me and calling me names. I ignored her and grabbed the rest of my stuff from the room. She kept going on and as I was leaving, I finally turned around and asked "what did I even do?" She told me about how I was selfish, couldn't even do something simple for her, screwed stuff up, and was impossible to live with. I snapped a bit and yelled back that "I didn't even do anything!" and "wasn't trying to hide anything".
She got angrier and started mocking my words, waving her arms, fake crying. I lost my temper, yelled "fuck you". She yelled back something (Not repeating for my own sake) akin to "maybe [person] was right for [doing abusive thing]". Just last week, we were talking about my past and all the abuse I went through and mentioned the previously refered to behavior. I don't like talking about my childhood/past and have only recently started opening up about it which is very hard for me. A big reason I have never talked about it is because I'm terrified of someone knowing I'm weak and using that against me. That said, this hurt. I yelled things like "go fuck yourself" and called her a bitch before going downstairs.
I don't think I was the AH before this, but I really went off on her. I'm stuck between feeling guilty and angry. I feel bad for yelling, but also feel purposefuly provoked. AITA?