this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
231 points (94.9% liked)

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have you considered earning more gold?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

F.U., I'm not taking tRAnSMuTaTiON like some nerd when I have pew-pew on the table.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Why are you buying a new crystal ball every month

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I keep on breaking them practicing scrying so I don't have to pay for onlyWitches

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'd stop buying a new one every month since apperently your onlyWitches consumption is less expensive. Also you support the witches directly and encourage them to make more "content".

[–] The_Hideous_Orgalorg 5 points 1 year ago

When one skips the bowl stand, the things like to roll off the table and break?

[–] CookieJarObserver 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Filthy only Witches! Just Summon yourself a Sucubus like a normal person!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

See, you should have just worked for the kingdoms magical law enforcement and training division. 40 years of service and the remainder of your loans are forgiven.

What's the point of having a 17 intellect if you don't think?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I don't believe in the magistate, and 40 years is wayyyyy too long to sacrifice in my immortal lifetime. I need economic advice, please, my accountant goblin is not suited to the task

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

17 INT 6 WIS 😎. I'm not here for your society. I want to get rich and delve past the 4th circle of the mind brah. Not work for the man so he can forgive me for the debts he saddled me with in the first place. Or something... Look I didn't learn how to create energy ex nilho to have to consider my actions.

[–] Susaga 12 points 1 year ago

This is secretly a meme about how badly you're getting ripped off on arcane foci. You don't need crystal balls AND staves, and you don't need them monthly. Even if you did, an orb is the most expensive at 20 gp. And who buys a new magic mirror every month?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is... Is this a boomery economic reality denial meme with a wizard? Oh no not 3 dollar toast.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Nope, this is a deep meme. Loosely based off of several other memes, with the original being a dude that couldn't feed his family because he spent 7k a month on candles. And no one could convince him to lower his candle budget.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

how do bards survive, but by their wits and their sticky fingers, amirite

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Just flee to the Astral plane, bro. They don't extradite.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You can use the ol'reliable magical masterclass trick. Go to some nobles and tell them some random stadistic about how much can learning a cantrip help their sons to defend themselves in these hard times.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

As an evil wizard, you could pay your staff less than 2000g and make some savings.