this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
406 points (96.8% liked)

Programmer Humor

22921 readers
178 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 months ago (1 children)

HTML 5 isn't a programming language! (Yes, I'm a nerd)

[–] xmunk 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Assuming you're talking about HTML5 & CSS it actually is Turing Complete.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Has anyone ported doom yet?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

Wrong. Well, at least incomplete.

You need user interaction (e.g., clicking on a button) and HTML & CSS for Turing Completeness, apparently.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Awesome! I guess I'm a nerd!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I guess I'm an awesome nerd!

[–] mathiouchio 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

We need to rewrite it to nerd.rs for speed and memory safety!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Is this a safe space to say that my favorite programming language rn is Python?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Only if you use it for systems programming

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Especially writing drivers amirite!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Its okay. I'm sure you'll get over it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

No

Tap for spoiler/jk obvi I like Python

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

When did you get diagnosed?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[–] slackassassin 2 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How dare you. I'm a physicist, not an engineer.

[–] BigDanishGuy 2 points 2 months ago

That's weird, a physicist that deals with the empirical world, how does the rest of your tribe feel about you? I promise you we can treat you better in engineering, but the initiation might be a little hard for you. It includes a lot of chanting "pi is 3", "what good is science if you don't apply it", and "that's a weird parameter, I'll just try setting it to one"

If you want to code like MATLAB but keep the leather elbow patched sports jacket and cozy office, maybe try getting plastered and code Visual Basic, it has the same feeling to it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

when you're so much of a nerd that your favourite lang isn't in the meme (it's Ada btw)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Is Fortran really your favorite language?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It’s easy syntax for math

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

What if you don't have a favorite programming language? I'm a firm believer that each language offers a specific set a features that makes each one uniquely suck and I often find myself at the crossroads of continuing to use this garbage or to learn a new language only to find it sucks in a different way. (/s another way of saying each language has its niche... (but sucks outside of it))

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

You are a nerd

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's like how some infinite are greater / less than others, sure you might say that each one uniquely sucks, but spend a month trying to build something with say, Salesforce's language, and you'll come to appreciate how there are still tiers to it... much, much lower tiers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Not Verilog though. That shit is for jocks.

[–] slackassassin 4 points 2 months ago

Vhdl gang rise up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I got swirlied by an FPGA

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Thank goodness, apparently I'm not old.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Truest words ever. Would flash/action script be considered?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

No [email protected] ? How the mighty have fallen.

It's still my favorite for now, though I do find Idris and Purescript compelling, too, for different reasons.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Fuck. Ocaml looks cool as hell. I should learn it.

[–] csm10495 3 points 2 months ago

Bottom left made me miss Kmart

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Technically, half of those are scripting languages not programming languages.

Anyway my favourite is Bash because I'm weird, even for a nerd.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (8 children)

how is a script not a program??

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

LISP: You are an AI researcher and a nerd.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

that's not really true anymore is it though? in my limited experience now that nearly all AI is statistical, it's mostly implemented in python, R, matlab, or the low level languages that implement their stats libraries like C and fortran

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Sure, but as far as I'm aware, no other large group of LISP users exists. My contention isn't that most AI researchers use LISP now, but that most LISP programmers are (were?) AI researchers.

I've been trying to learn about early AI work, and I'm finding that to get any practical details you're almost guaranteed to have to wade through LISP code, although at least it's usually pretty well commented.

load more comments
view more: next ›