The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/pinkroses28192819 on 2025-02-20 22:00:50.
I've been roommates with my best friend Emma (21F) since freshman year (I'm a senior now). Last semester, she started dating Adam (21M), who struggles with nicotine and possibly alcohol addiction. Emma warned him multiple times that if he kept using, she'd break up with him. He went sober for a while but relapsed. They compromised: he could have three drinks socially. One night, we went to a friend's house. Emma dropped Adam off early for some bro time. When we returned, he quickly drank his 3 beers. Before leaving, we went to to "smoke room," where Adam took a few puffs (but Emma and I passed). On the drive home, Adam asked Emma to pull over to throw up. She was upset, assuming he'd had more than his 3 drinks. We drove back to the friend's house so he could get cleaned up, but she debated leaving him there because she thought he lied. I agreed, thinking he was obviously drunk. We drove home and he tried to explain that he threw up because this was his first time smoking in a while and he was also sick. They eventually worked it out, but I didn’t believe him. Before Thanksgiving, Adam lost his wallet in our apartment. After the car incident, I found it in the pantry under toilet paper but left it there because he was being an a-hole to Emma. A week later, I felt guilty and "found" it in a drawer. Adam immediately accused me of stealing it and told Emma I’d steal from her too (even though we lived together for 3 years with no issue). He refuses to be in the same room as me, claiming I've always wanted to ruin their relationship and told her to drive home because I hate him so much. We share mutual friends, but they've only heard his version. They want nothing to do with me bc im a “thief”. I didn’t feel I should have to defend my character bc I thought they were my friends too. Emma eventually stopped talking to me bc Adam convinced her of his narrative because he's been insecure about our friendship. note: Emma repeatedly told me that Adam complains that she cares about my opinion more than his because we were so close. Through the whole semester, he always thought I had malicious intentions against him because he "wasn't being a good boyfriend to her". I never intentionally made him feel bad for being shitty to her or consistently arguing with him whenever he got drunk. It's clear that Adam has a drinking problem that he has addressed and promised to fix, but never followed through on it. I was at the end of my wits from his constant presence in my living space and treating my friend poorly. My therapist suggested that he might be jealous of me in previous sessions before the wallet situation, but it's clear that he's milking this situation to get me out of Emma's life so my opinion of him doesn't matter to her anymore. It's really sad that my best friend chose to side with her boyfriend even if it cost us our friendship.
Please let me know your thoughts because I feel like I'm going crazy trying to defend myself. Is Emma even a good friend?