The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/No-Square-1981 on 2025-02-21 03:59:04.
Last night around 11:30pm, after I had already been asleep for about two hours with our two old daughter (I work in the morning, she doesn’t) my wife called me repeatedly on my cell until I picked up. She said it was an emergency and she needed me to come downstairs.
When I got down there she was lying in bed and said she felt “really bad” like she was going to throw up and that she couldn’t fall asleep. I asked what the emergency was and she said “I just told you”. I was like, “babe feeling like you’re going to throw up and not being able to fall asleep are not emergencies, do you need to go to urgent care?” She said she didn’t know, but that she felt like she had a fever so maybe. I went and got the very expensive accurate thermometer I got us and it said 98.8°F. I said okay you don’t have a fever and she then proceeded to argue with me about how that actually is a fever for her since her normal temp is around 97.7°F. I told her she should take some Tylenol, and she explained that she didn’t think she should because she might throw it up. I suggested she could take a muscle relaxer to help relax her body to fall asleep, and she said she was worried she’d throw it up or that it would make her feel bad the next day.
At this point I was like, “okay babe, those are my ideas, what would you like me to do?” and she launched into a tirade about how partners are supposed to support one another and she just needs my emotional support because she feels like she’s never going to be able to fall asleep. I tried reassuring her that she would eventually, she argued she might not. I asked if she had ever not fallen asleep at some point when she wanted to go to sleep (like not when trying to stay up all night) and she said no, so I said, “okay well then it seems highly unlikely that you’re not going to ever fall asleep if that’s never happened, so why don’t you just lie here and read or watch videos until you feel sleepy and just know that it’ll happen eventually. It’s going to be okay, you’re not in danger and this is not the kind of sickness that requires medical attention or that you need to be scared of.” She really didn’t like that, and after a little bit more back and forth I told her I was going back to bed and to please only call me or come get me if it’s a real emergency because I have to work in the morning and get our kid ready and off to school; she said “you suck!”
This morning at 7 she is sleeping soundly and I am letting her sleep in while I get our daughter ready for school and take her there on my way to work. Am I a dick for not being endlessly available to my wife in the night for emotional support because she doesn’t feel well? I see now that had I had more sense about me (I was basically halfway asleep for our conversation) I would have just said “it’s going to be okay” earlier in the situation, but what else could I have done differently that would have been less shitty if you guys think it was shitty what I did do?