The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dry_Cress4689 on 2025-02-20 01:27:14.
I (23F) told my sister (26F) that my boss let us know how much revenue the company makes at a party. He asked that we keep it between us (we're a small company of 12). My sister asked how much and I told her I couldn't say since it was told in confidence and she got so mad she refused to talk to me. Really, I could've told her because it's not like we signed an NDA, nor do I think she'd go spreading that information to anyone relevant, but I wanted to test how well she'd handle a "no".
We have a long history of her pushing me to do or reveal things, to the point where it'd get physical, but those fights have since been resolved. I wanted to see if she's changed at all, but it seems not.
Here's what my sister had to say:
"You're a corporate shill and a bot. You're choosing to protect your boss over your own family. If your boss asked you to jump off a cliff, you'd probably do it too. You're nothing to me now, you're less than a stranger on the street."
I told her the revenue and said it was just a test to see if she'd respect my boundaries so the corporate shill accusations aren't relevant. She replied "Oh so you want to play games now? Okay, here's a game, don't ever ask me for help with anything ever again. I always help you, but you never help me."
I felt like she was manipulating the narrative when she framed revealing the revenue amount as "helping". She doesn't even work in the same industry so I don't see how it would be helpful to her, nor did she express she'd find the info helpful until that very moment... when my parents were there mediating. It's like she was trying to paint me the villain in front of them. My parents agreed with her that I should've just told her the amount because "there are no secrets between family".
My argument was no one should feel obligated to reveal information they don't want to, even to family. I have never pushed any family member to say or do anything they didn't want to and I was simply asking for the same respect.
I do wonder if I'm the asshole though because it's true my sister has helped me out many times before. When I was unemployed she bought me meals. When there was a family vacation I couldn't afford, she loaned me money. I didn't ask for help, but she offered and I took those offers. I'm starting to regret it though because my friends say the help didn't come without a price.
A few months ago my sister brought up one of the darkest periods of my life to mock me, and since then I've distanced myself from her emotionally. We used to be closer, but after that, I couldn't trust her anymore. So my friends believe this withholding of revenue information was the nail in the coffin for her. My friends think our relationship is transactional in that my sister provides help so that she can control me and feel entitled to details about my life.
The vibe in my house is so bad it was negatively effecting my performance at work so I'm currently staying with a friend and not sure how to handle things when I return. Am I the asshole?