this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It sounds like you'd be comfortable in prison. There is probably a Luigi to-do list somewhere you could pick a name from and then arrange to join him in a neighboring cell.

[–] TheSlad 45 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Hoenstly, probably better than being homeless. Life in prison as a local hero among inmates for deposing a capitalist.

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Use a voice changer and become a twitch streamer with one of those female anime avatars. Hoards of desperate guys will throw themselves at his feet to try and catch a glimpse of the real person behind the anime avatar.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)
  1. A good anime avatar takes skill = money
  2. Getting people to desire your streams takes effort
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Word. I've been watching a really good Streamer who makes her own models, she has very little viewers compared to how consistently she has been streaming for several years and how good her streams are (IMO). She has other sources of income so it's not a big deal for her, but if you were trying to get out of unemployment with that it seems really tough.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yeah , Twitch/YT have the worst promotional and discovery algorithms for streaming creators/entertainers. Every streamer I watch that isn't from the early days of Twitch/Justin.tv says they had to build a content creation platform elsewhere and move them to Twitch to get any movement. And these creators still only get 500-2000 viewers at most.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

Did you miss the part about Anon not having social skills?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"women can always just do onlyfans" lookin ass advice

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Anon needs to do some serious fucking work to unfuck his life.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well turning to 4chan for advice is a good first step. I have high hopes for 'em!

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I know all greentexts are fake, but:

  • get a job at local walmart / krogers / etc. Try doing full time but if you can only handle part-time, stick with that
  • after doing that for a while (at least 3-4 months, pref. at least a year) go to the local community college and ask about doing a GED (high school diploma)
  • take it slow at first. maybe one class at a time. try to work your way up to 3-4 classes, OR 1-2 classes while holding down a job. keep an eye out for a better job.
  • once you're getting toward the end of your GED, talk to your counselor about your career goals.
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago

And start walking and counting calories today. Cutting weight can happen later, you start by figuring how much you're actually eating then slowly reducing it.

And if you start exercising by running while out of shape and obese you're just going to be too miserable to keep going. So you walk, figure out how much it takes to get exhausted then do it every day you can. I once did 10k steps every day indoors. What was that like? 3 hours of walking in circles. But it was what I could do. From there start trying other things trying to find things that have reasonable impact that aren't so miserable you won't do them.

If you have to choose between dieting and exercising, pick exercising. A sedentary lifestyle destroys motivation in all aspects of life. Every other aspect of self improvement is going to take a long time to see real benefit, but it doesn't take long to get fit enough to notice and it impacts every aspect of your life.

Also numbers are easy to overprioritize. The goal is health. Not some amount you can lift, not some distance you can bike, not a waistline size (though I've heard it's a useful indicator for heart health), not bmi, and not weight. All of those numbers can help you figure out how healthy you might be, but I've seen people walk into eating disorders and body dysmorphia over all that and the fact is you don't need to look like a movie star to be healthy.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)
  1. Take a 30 minute walk every day regardless of weather.
  2. Take three months off from video games. The first three weeks will suck. Remind yourself several times a day that this is for something possibly better.
  3. Don't linger on your past mistakes beyond a reminder of where you don't want to be. Buildingg your character is a path filled with wrong turns and mistakes. The best we can do limit the effects of those mistakes based on our setup. ... Build character like you would in a rogue like if that's helpful
  4. Develop emotional awareness and intelligence. That's a book and a skill.
  5. Talk to people with the respect you want to receive.
  6. Accept the parts of yourself you can't change. You're 5' 3". Stand tall and own your space.

Shittles... I need to do some of this stuff myself. Ha!

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[–] stevedice 51 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That sounds like a very severe case of untreated depression. I know anon is 33 but where the fuck were his parents for the first 20 years of their life?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

The parents were most likely thinking that the problem will resolve itself and it's just temporary. Speaking as a person that will write a similar greentext in 9 years.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

I hope you find something you are interested in

My life would be much easier now and Id be able to buy whatever I wanted if I had applied myself earlier instead of just coasting and partying

[–] LH0ezVT 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Honestly? I know nothing about your situation. So maybe this is completely off. In that case, sorry for being cliche. But try burger flipping (or shelve packing, or...) at least once. In the worst case, you have a better reason to hate the system now, in the best case, you get some routine. Or, I don't know, help some people with stuff. Does not even matter what it is. But humans were not meant to do nothing.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The last 2 lines of the text make it sound like bait if the 6-figure thing wasn't a joke (otherwise, delusional). Depression likely, if not other health issues that led to this.

I am not quite as bad as the text but for me: parents are doing their own thing (these days, computer time), almost as isolated as I am.

It probably helps that I do tasks for them (mostly sweeping, unloading dishwasher/garbage, carrying firewood etc). Not that I can do much given that I, much like they (who are anti-doctor), have untreated health issues. Seemingly is enough they don't threaten to kick me out (though maybe they know that I would just leave with no place to go, and likely die).

Also it was unlikely in car-centric areas of the USA as-it-wasbut I don't think there's hard-working out of this after medicaid is gutted (not that was even an easily accessible path before).

Maybe anon can lose 50 pounds, get a hobby, and leave the house a few times a month when the weather is nice... but probably not getting a job/moving out with no help while the government implodes and normal people were already struggling to pay bills.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

The 6-figues line could very well be a joke without the story being untrue.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago

Clean yourself up and find a rich spouse?

Win the lottery?

Insurance fraud?

No? I got nothing.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago

I genuinely snorted at the "six figure jobs" bit.

Poor chap.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I played so many games from 8yo to 22yo that I legit ran out of games to play, I emulated old consoles. I played on good hardware, I played competitive games, single player. at some point after my first year out of highschool I was like damn I've rna out of games to play.

I guess it helped that the game industry ran out of juice in the last decade or so and the number of games that interest me plummeted (probably because I'm older also)

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

OP sounds like THE person to found a tech startup, sell a load of bull, get rich off ephemeral VC money, cozy up to Trump and join the dismantling of the US.

US career advice AD2025. No brain cells or social skills necessary

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bullshitting seems like a social skill to me...

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Not in Education Employment or Training

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Bro is living the dream.

[–] meowmeowbeanz 8 points 1 week ago

Speedrunning the NEET questline with 100% completion

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

https://fullstackopen.com/en/about

You're going to need a real part time job at a local store as well, until you learn enough to switch careers, good luck.

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