There are so many comebacks available for this one, yet I can't decide on one.
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You don't have to, the exchange is fictional and even if it was real none of those are you.
Your comment made me think and I've had the opposite problem.
I couldn't think of any clever comebacks.
The only one I'd have is:
"That's because you don't know how to ride anything but the short bus."
What are the ones you've had in mind?
On the moment, a good number came to my mind. Right now, the ones coming to mind are plain dumb or just stupid.
I'm going to stay quiet.
But you didn't stay quiet?
Inertia, momentum, insert more serious sounding words, understand it as a proper answer.
Skill issue
I'm not a motorcycle, baby. I'm a rollercoaster with an unfinished track.