this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2025
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I am of the age to have kids, some of my friends have them, but I have mixed feelings about it, just wondering about other people's experiences.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I have a young kid and about to have another one. I'm very happy with them. It's like I'm rising a puppy that can talk. I have a job flexible wfh work. So, I can take care of them with my partner.

The only downside are that I have a very small window of personal time, and I can't take too much financial risk as I used to, which is a good thing.

I think the decision making process behind having a kid is similar to the process when we decided to have a dog. You shouldn't have a dog just because someone push a pressure on you or something.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Is like to, but I won't before I'm in a good enough life situation, and either seems improbable or very far away, and while men can definitely have kids to very late in life, I don't want to wear diapers at the same time as my kids might.

So yeah, mixed feelings.

If I won the lotto right now and found a spouse, sure. Out side from that, nah, prolly not.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Having a kid has helped me learn and realize so much about myself and my life that I wouldn't have been able to learn otherwise. The same can be said about many of my other major life experiences. Sometimes I miss being alone and being able to do whatever the fuck I want, but I realize I'm still learning how to balance my life and seeing my child every day makes me happy (even if she is going through a hellion phase).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I love kids and would be a great parent but no on all three counts. I'd have to put aside my own life, my own plans and all the weird fun stuff I do because of kids. Not to mention the cost, even just got giving birth, would be nuts.

Kinda like how I love dogs but don't want to be a dog owner.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Nope! No interest at all. I definitely don't regret it as a millennial.

I have always been fine with children. I think seeing other people raise them with love and care and real emotional availability is the most heartening thing ever! I've even teared up a little when i see them do it well and with real emotional availability.

I was never interested but i had the question about whether i would with the right partner well into my 20's. I never felt like it was something missing from my life. Now that I'm older i see my friends all across the spectrum about the choice from joy to regret. I am confident, learning about time commitment, cost, and thinking about the liability of a human life, that i would be deep on the regret end. In fact i see not having children as the best choice I've made in life.

I'm thoroughly happy and content being child free.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My moral philosophy is to leave the world a better place than I found it, to have an overall positive impact.

In order to justify siring children I would need to balance it out somehow, like by raising multiple foster care children first or by donating sperm.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I really want to have kids for a long time already, but just recently I got into a spot in life where it seems financially and personality-wise an option. For a long time I was aware that there still was a lot to develop in myself. I also wanted to see and do things, which came a bit short unfortunately, for said financially reasons. I am stillt super afraid of how things will turn out, if I am built for the strain, if I will love my kid(s) enough, teach them enough and at the same time if job-wise everything will work. I really worked hard for the job I now have, but it is science-related and tnerefore I will never see a contract which lasts longer than three years. But I just know that I will regret not having at least one kid.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I have one. It's awesome. But don't do it if you're not absolutely sure you want it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Nope, and very glad I didn't.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I am in no financial situation to need to think about kids.

Luckily, I don't need to worry about stumbling into kids either.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have 4 kids, and there could be more in the future, because my wife force this more than me. I always said it's her decision.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

At first I thought I could "take it or leave it" with kids. Then I married someone who was a firm "No," but strung me along when I asked if we could adopt. Divorced now, and when I think about the idea of finding a woman to raise a family with... I'm inundated with fear and anxiety. This world is so fucked that I cry in my dreams at the thought of it. What will the world look like in my hypothetical child's lifetime?

The supposed last bastion of freedom and democracy has fully descended into fascist oligarchy. We were supposed to stop climate change before we hit 1.5 degrees of warming, we hit that last year. Now they're talking about what's going to happen when we hit 3 degrees of warming. So every natural disaster is going to be far worse, and far more frequent. The fire in LA is still burning. A fire swallowed up so much, the next one may take the entire city. Scientists have been dreading the eruption of a super volcano for a while now, saying that it could cause a global ice age, gee I wonder if climate change is making that more or less likely?? (hint: it's more.) Meanwhile NATO and the combination of russia/china/north korea/iran are preparing for the last war this world may ever see.

Not to mention that having a kid is like pooping out a ticket for half a million in debt. I already think about killing myself so often, could I really bear the thought of shackling myself to this soul sucking job for the rest of my life? Goodbye following my dreams, hello more debt.

So now I can't even bring myself to date, because despite getting divorced over it (not really, but it was a part of it), I still can't truly answer the question "Do I want kids?" Approaching 40 and time is running out. Gotta make up my mind, but in the meantime everything is getting worse.

I heard once that single life is like being the center of your life's portrait, and once you have kids, you instead become the frame. But I already feel like I've lived my whole life within the frame, and want to try being the center of my own portrait for once.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Assuming people on Lemmy have sex is bold.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Yeah let this one go

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[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 week ago

I feel like I should have a kid but I'll never meet a woman that wants me plus me being poor. It's a terrible combination.

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