Installing a bidet was one of the best decisions I've made in the bathroom, but it makes pooping at work a lot worse.
this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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Only using TP now makes me feel like cave man. If you got poop on your hand, would you just wipe it off with napkin and go on about your day? No.
To be fair, I don't go around touching things and eating with my bare buttcrack all day. I do those things with my hands, which I wash after going to the bathroom. And I shower at least once a day and clean that buttcrack with soap.
That's not to say that a bidet isn't better than TP, just that the analogy never made sense.
You're still carrying it around with you. Forget about it being on your hands - if you got some shit on your leg, would you wipe it off with a paper towel and call it a day? You're not touching things and eating with your shins after all
i wash my butt and legs with soap every time i poop
If that's all that were available, and if repurposing existing fixtures to jury-rig something would be awkward and violate social norms, and if the leg-shit were always someplace where the contours of the human body kept it from really touching anything else, and if my culture had a practice of including an extra layer of relatively expendable clothing that was always between the leg-shit-spot and my pants, then yeah, I'd manage.
It's not that it's a terrible analogy, but it's more a bit from standup routine than a revelation about life. That being said, I'd still very much prefer to be able to wash it off with water, and while my shins are generally fine, I try to avoid pooping outside the house and will not be giving up my home bidets, thank you very much.
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No, but I eat with my hands. My butt hole hardly ever touches my food before I've eaten it.
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You don't wash your hands after shitting?
Omg I came here to comment exactly this. Such a luxury
You know, you could bring a water bottle to the bathroom and one of these pocket sized bidet caps and nobody would really know. Unless you chose a crinkly bottle I guess
That is a phenomenal tip right there!! Didn't know these products existed, thanks a ton.
Um... my dude... I'm going to need a lot more water pressure than that...
That being said, I wonder if you could make an adapter for a battery powered paint sprayer... or just give zero fucks and leave a pressure washer in the stall. Obviously not full power, but pressure wouldn't be an issue then.
If you have the accessibility to leave a functioning pressure washer in the stall... you could just get a bidet installed.
20 years ago I worked with a woman with a special water bottle. Everybody knew.
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Toilets without bidet..? How do people clean their ass? In the shower? They go around with stank ass all day
Umm... we use a little modern miracle called the Three Seashells.
I have a bidet but can only use it in the summer because the water is ice in the winter :(. I'd love to hook up the hot water to it but there's no way to do it in my rented house
Extension cord and it’ll use electric heating.
Searching for "self heating bidet attachment" will give you an array of options from $45 to $300
I mean im not the type like my wife who will hold it to not use an outside toilet but I have to agree. I would say access to your fridge is equally useful though. Its just way more convenient overall. Sill not having the commute is tops. I generally had to give myself an hour on leaving to make sure I would arrive ontime and for whatever reason traffic always seems worse in the evening. So like 10 hours incinerated with travel per week. Then like the additional getting ready is like 30mins so thats another 2.5 and that fridge thing means you can eat without going out but you don't have to pack a lunch. going to give that another .5. All the incidentals from walking my dog to being able to catch a 30min show at lunch im going to say its worth at least 2 more. Its easy to see its worth 25% on the low side and 30% on the high side (with the caveat that a job is useless if it can't meet your bills).
I can only imagine. Can you image working in construction? No break room. Nowhere to sit for lunch. Eight porta potties for two hundred workers, sitting in the direct sun on a code red day. Dude that cleans them is puking.
When I got higher up, and got access to an entire building, I'd find an empty floor and use those bathrooms. Pure luxury.
Having worked construction, there are plenty of places to sit for lunch if you don't mind improvising or you drive to work. Porta-johns are definitely nightmarish tho. On the last job I worked, someone (we still aren't sure who) missed the hole with a puddle of straight diarrhea, rendering one of the only two toilets on the entire job virtually unusable.
I also eat healthier and tastier. I can do dishes, laundry, and clean here and there. I am MORE productive. I don't have to commute. But my boss is a Conservative Gen-Xer who believes working from home is the devil.
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This is a valid point, the down side is I have to pay for the toilet paper and water myself.
I have a bidet and a towel. One toilet paper roll lasts 6 months.
Are you that cheap?
Sorry mate, I was just making a joke.
That ain't allowed in these here parts, pardner.
Pro tip, any time you do visit the office, bring a standard key for the dispenser. I mean they bought it for your use, right? If you don't have an office nearby you can always visit someone else's office.
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The toilets in my office are maintained by dedicated staff. The ones in my home are occasionally paid attention to by distracted volunteers.
Yes and I can use it as often as I want without guilt.
That and I can play music and videos with bothering anyone as background noise.
Actually the best benefit is being able to hang around my cat.
And husband, it's nice to see him too I guess.
Disagree, it means I have to fight with my partner for use of the toilet and she is somehow always in the bathroom
sounds like someone needs more fiber supplementation
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I can never get the harmonic resonance of my farts just right in the work toilets. At home I can make that baby hum like a didgeridoo
Why tho? I never look around my workplace restroom and think, oh, that wants cleaning
Because public toilets are designed primarily to serve the employer, not the needs of the people actually using them.
I'm doing so right now.
Fuq yeah! I have a fancy Japanese bum-washer, it's far better than anything in an office, and you don't have to worry about what sounds or smells you make.
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I got a bidet on my toilet. 'nuf said.
If you can smell it, a little piece is inside you.
Don't you get bored of masturbating in the same toilet everyday?
I like having access to my kitchen for lunch. Im less tempted to go out to eat when i can make something tasty and usually better than fast food
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