Greentext

High school, not college.

Chilling in the halls, first day of junior year

New kid comes up, asks where a room is.

New kid is all dressed up; suit, tie, nice shoes.

But new kid is smiling and friendly.

Give new kid directions, he says thanks and turns to go.

I tell him he better dump his drink before he goes to class, students aren't allowed to have sodas in class.

He gives me weird look, says thanks again, walks away.

Three hours later, new kid is behind teacher's desk of American history class.

Be me: confused and slowly realizing.

Mr B slowly lifts a cold can of coke, takes sip and grins.

Mfw the teacher is shorter than me, looks younger than me, and has just established dominance with a friendly smile.

I remember there was this one Lit. teacher in high-school who was randomly aggressive toward the students (always making a fuss if the kids were having fun in the hallways, accosting you if you didn't greet her even though most of us had no idea who she was at the time, etc.).

One fated day, it was my turn to wash the blackboard erasers. All of the student bathrooms had been relegated to the upper levels, with the ones on the ground floor being assigned to the teachers. Class was about to start, I realised I couldn't make it up the stairs and back again with clean erasers, so I bit the bullet and decided to stealth through it in the teachers' bathroom.

I zipped across the empty hallway, opened the bathroom door, and there was the aforementioned teacher just finishing a hefty rail of either coke, or speed (or chalk dust! she was VERY weird) - all I got to see was the movement and the snort. She looks up at me, touches up her nose, and says: "there's no more privacy in this world..." I slowly pull a Homer Simpson and slink into the bushes.

She didn't say another word to me for the next 4 years I was in high-school.

I could definitely see myself doing something that dumb at 19.

But I'd then have dropped the class to avoid acknowledging it happened

It's plausible

We had a massive lecture hall (500-1000 student capacity) at my uni, inside of the lecture hall, there were men’s and women’s bathrooms without doors, but with like the hidden S curve

Someone took an explosive shit all over the sink.

And we had a midterm exam with the worst smelling shit I’ve ever smelled.

Im saddened no one did a fake or gay on this one

Fake: Anon is smart (or rich) enough to enter college

Gay: Anon joins his professor in the stalls on personal time