this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2023
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

We really do live in the weirdest timeline...

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Woah jetpacks are actually a thing now? Where do I get one?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Go to Peru and meet the cartels. They have advanced technology they use to steal gold and set up illegal dredging operations. And they've dressed like lizards in bright green and gold armor. And the jetpacks just glow red and fit underneath the feet. It's all very efficient and nothing to do with aliens.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Go to Peru and meet the cartels.

I think I'll pass, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Peru, cartels are just DMT entities…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

More like cocaine entities.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That's a cocaine elemental!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Woah jetpacks are actually a thing now? Where do I get one?

These guys make one.
Jennifer Connelly not included.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I thought the first link was going to be “and it starts right now” jet pack guy.

Not sure of Lemmy etiquette - Do I just paste the link? this guy

Edited to make the link look nicer

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I mean they have their own drug-runner submarines. You underestimate how big and professional cartels are.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What is being mined that is so profitable that the miners commute with jet packs?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s much more likely they’re trying to harass the indigenous people off the land rather than using it for commuting.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

After thinking about it a bit, I thought the same thing. It's still a pretty nuts idea, but it could work.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Children, it would seem.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

This is a plot of the new MiB movie, right?

[–] spaysi 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ahh yes, the much more logical explanation- secret gold miners with jet packs are harassing a local town! Because? Reasons! 🤦🏽‍♀️

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Yes, humans with human made technology that has existed for a few years harassing indigenous people is the more logical explanation. At least as long as the alternative is aliens coming to harass indigenous people in the middle of nowhere, who just happen to live in an area where over 100 illegal mining operations have already been shut down and where 80% of the illegal mining in the country is.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

This is some sci-fi bamboozling shit right here and I’m all for it!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

These gentlemen are aliens. They seem armored like the green goblin from Spider Man. I have shot one twice and it didn’t fall. Instead, it elevated and disappeared

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

This one sounds a lot like the plot for an episode of Scooby Doo