this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2024
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What’s the worst Harry Potter theory you’ve ever heard? (i.imgur.com)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] threelonmusketeers 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Oh boy, where to begin? There's a bunch that range from implausible, to unsettling, to simply absurd:

  • Crookshanks used to live with the Potters
  • Hagrid is a Death Eater
  • Voldemort's rudimentary body was Bertha Jorkins' unborn child
  • Draco actually loved Hermione
  • McGonagall had an affair with Crookshanks
  • Harry hallucinated the events of all seven books
  • Wizards used to sh*t on the floor and vanish the evidence
  • Snape was Harry's real father the whole time
  • Mrs Norris is a maledictus and Filch's wife
  • Voldemort secretly had a daughter
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure the shitting on the floor theory is actually a quote from the fourth book, also they don't wear underwear when wearing tunics and robes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 23 hours ago

no and no

[–] kwomp2 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

If you seek to destroy the individually evil without dealing with the structural problems of your society, you safe the world.

Great take on liberalist contrafactual ideology in harry potter (core of the matter in 2nd half): https://youtu.be/-1iaJWSwUZs?si=s38CyAHt_ieW50Im

[–] threelonmusketeers 2 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

Huh, thanks for sharing. I haven't finished it yet, but it is an interesting analysis so far, if a bit dry and long.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago

You just described shaun to a tea. Fantastic analysis, bit dry and long.

Love his work

[–] [email protected] 1 points 17 hours ago

If you haven't heard about Snapewives, then perhaps you should look up this video A Deep Dive into Potterheads - Invidious link

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Ginny drugging Harry in HBP

Horcrux Harry caused the Dursley's to be awful

Which this one isn't too crazy I guess

And finally: Dracomalfoyisawerewolf.com

[–] thatKamGuy 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Horcrux Harry isn’t that bad of a theory IMO. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'd agree - plus it's interesting to think what might have become of the Dursley's of they hadn't had to watch over him then.

I think my main question with it is that no one else Harry spends a lot of time with turns that way. Although, you could definitely argue that it's because everyone else are wizards, or that the others he did live with were at Hogwarts and there's some sort of protection.

Dumbledore also may have figured out horcruxs sooner to if Harry was infecting the Dursley's

Theory has a lot going for it though!

[–] thatKamGuy 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Harry spent 10 uninterrupted years at the Dursleys, much longer than anyone else - and very few people would have started with the same level of antagonism towards Harry as the Dursleys (due to Petunia’s childhood jealousy).

I’m sure regardless, they would have ended up horrid people regardless - but perhaps much less so.

In my own head-canon, I have a visual of a knock coming to the (adult) Potters door one rainy evening in the future. Harry opens the door to find a drenched Dudley, head lowered and shoulders slumped, with a Hogwarts acceptance letter scrunched in his fist. His daughter is a witch!

[–] threelonmusketeers 2 points 15 hours ago

His daughter is a witch

That's a fairly popular one, though (I think) refuted by the author. Nonetheless, it is an interesting idea to explore.

[–] Varyk 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I actually don't know many Harry Potter theories, which one does do you know about?

do you have a worst one?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The picture probably refers to the "Ron is Dumbledore theory" https://screenrant.com/harry-potter-dumbledore-time-travel-ron-theory-explained/

[–] Varyk 5 points 1 day ago

thanks! that was a fun read.

now I want to read all those theories.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I thought the Pic implied catholic shenanigans between the boy and old man.

is this part of the movie with their "wands choosing the wizard " line?

i dunno haven't see it.