this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 125 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Its okay for cats because they're cute and adorable, which elon isn't.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that the litterbox infamous for murdering cats?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

According to this article, no - the door on the bad design closes horizontally. The article actually uses a pic of this very box (or extremely similar) as an example of a "reputable" design. But then again, it also advised people to stop using the bad design, and to talk to their vet (why?!?) about the "next steps to take." 🤷‍♀️

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's also because cats have no object permanence, just like Elon

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Now I’m imagining a cat without object permanence trying to hunt a mouse.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Cats do have object permanence though? So cats are in fact; smarter and cuter.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yeah that's right. Was just ranting. Haha. We're in the onion community

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

This is literally my cat when I'm in the bathroom.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

The Groom of the Stool (formally styled: "Groom of the King's Close Stool") was the most intimate of an English monarch's courtiers, initially responsible for assisting the king in excretion and hygiene.

The physical intimacy of the role naturally led to his becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal master and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course.

The office developed gradually over decades and centuries into one of administration of the royal finances, and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy, under the "chamber system".[1][2]

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

National Fecal policy

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is Trump we are talking about, so musk's title is probably more like "Presidential diaper changer".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

This is more info than we EVER needed or wanted to know about Elon's kinks.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I approve of all this content painting Musk as an invasive little brat who has no boundaries and is desperate to try to buy his way into the cool kids inner circle. Notice me, senpai!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Isn't that what they used to say about Trump?

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This just in: Manufacturing efforts at the Tesla factory have been diverted to focus on building a bathroom door lock-picking robot.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

"Musk SLAMS local locksmith, calls him a pedophile for opening the lock first"

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago

This just leaves Musk to scratch at the base of the door and wave his fingers around in the gap beneath the door until Donald finally relents, allowing Musk to enter and curl up in the crotch of Donald's pants while he's taking a shit.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

feels bad about it after a minute and lets him

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

He's not going to wipe himself.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Oh he doesn't like being follows into places that are meant to be more private when you're exposed? Wonder what the various women Trump has admitted walking in on thought about his similar behavior?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

This needs to be an article series.

[–] ohellidk 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

well somebody's gotta give him the blumpkin, right?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

And Eric will be damned if anyone else is taking that spot. That's daddy and Eric time

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Orangetard has enough shit in his pants he doesn't need anymore

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Nice. The spelling mistake makes it look like Trump soils pants just before donating them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I cannot wait for what these guys are going to do with infowars.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Who's gonna wipe his butt then?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Based on trends witht he rest of his staff

  • Trump had someone
  • he probably handled classified shit (heh)
  • either Trump tried to have him killed or he went to jail.

So he'll need another. Who's the judge who's been cleaning up his smelly messes and isn't imprisoned?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

The First Lady is very needy in this upcoming administration.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Brings a new meaning to "Closed door meetings".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I think you made a mistake, this is for satirical pieces.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Nah, Trump poops and texts whenever Elon goes into a K-hole. It's a solid routine. 😆