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Why don't they just go home? (Wrong Answers Only) (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/mash

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Just about every episode of MASH I've seen, somebody claims that they hate Korea, or that they hate the stupid Army, or that they don't even know why they're at war. I don't get it. Why don't they all go home? If nobody wants to work there, how come they never leave?

Please respond with wrong answers.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I'll start: they don't want to leave Korea because the California mountains are too beautiful.

Klinger is secretly an agent sent to discourage anybody trying get out on phony section 8 discharges.

Sparky and Sofie are having an affair.

[–] sbv 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hot Lips.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I asked for wrong answers, but that's good too.

[–] sbv 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're supposed to ask why Hot Lips is there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah! Why is Hot Lips there anyway?

[–] sbv 2 points 2 months ago

I'm glad you asked. Hot Lips Houlihan, the woman who could talk a snake out of its skin, is staying in Vietnam. She's hawking war bonds to grunts! I swear she could sell ice cream to an Eskimo.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everyone wants to know where Spearchucker went. They're afraid to leave anyone behind.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Spearchucker Jones was either shot down over the Sea of Japan, or he was on that prequel spin-off with Ugly John, Before MASH

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Rosie's bar has been micro-dosing everyone with opium. They get "home sick" when they try to leave camp for more than a day or two. The doctors and hot lips know. But the addiction has them too far gone to fight it anymore.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Be it ever so crumbled, there is no place like home." Darkest one so far. Awesome!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

At least Radar got out!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Too little too late! Legend has it, he could never look a bottle of Grape Nehi in the eye again

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hawkeye’s booze is better and cheaper than they can get in the States

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

That's why Colonel Potter and B.J. were hooked immediately!