Well DT, I got the place... and at the original rent no less (thanks, sloppy REAs!). Payment has gone through so it's official.
I'm relieved but also... now that it's real my heart is also filled with incredible, crushing sadness. I know it's going to be good for me to downsize and cull and open up my life to new options but I am so, so, sad to have to let go of my comforts here under such ugly circumstances. I can't even bear to look at my plants, it breaks my heart. Such is life though, isn't it. Change does not always happen the way we want it to. (and this isn't by far the worst experience I've had having to leave a house)
My plan for tonight is to just make a meta-list of tasks so that I don't feel too overwhelmed, but after that I'm going to just let the emotions flow through and watch an episode of Shrinking and take it easy. No stiffer up lip tonight. The work will start tomorrow. I know I'll get through this, there is joy on the other side. β€οΈβπ©Ή