this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 81 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Not even close. Mites are animals. Between your ass hair, clothing, and the square inch of horse fur, each time you fart on a horse you fart on half a million mites. And everyone who doesn't ride horses, 99.999 percent of the population, farts on mites every time they flatulate.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, but different mites. Their lifespan is too short. Horses however have to endure years of farting.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As the owner of several horses, I will attest to the fact that they fart on us WAY more than we fart on them.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is correct, they like to shit when you're near the back end as well, nervous poops. Also this lady is clearly scared shitless on this horse, poor bastards face is being pulled on so much his damn chin is touching his neck.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She's not even holding the reins, they're just way too tight.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Looks like she is holding them all crunched up and leaning forwards on the horse. There is no saddle so there isn't a way to tighten the reins without her holding them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It doesn't look like she's holding them crunched up to me, her hand is open and flat and there's no dark pixels under it to show the rein there, it looks like it's just a tight harness, possibly designed to get the horse's head to pose this way. I mean I could be wrong of course, that's just how it looks to me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

"Don't dish what you can't take" the horse probably

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

This is not a thought I needed to have haha.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Um...I wouldn't mind her farting on me.

Too early??

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago

My dude, fly your freak flag high.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not true. My dog farts on me for more often then I fart on a horse. So for its about a billion to zero.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I also blame my farts on the dog.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Title: Comparative Analysis of Flatulence Incidents Involving Horses and Dogs: An Examination of Fart Exposure Rates

Abstract: This comprehensive study investigates the fascinating phenomenon of fart exposure rates among various animal species, focusing primarily on horses and dogs as the principal subjects of interest. Through meticulous data collection and analysis, we present compelling evidence that supports the assertion that horses experience a disproportionately higher frequency of fart exposure compared to other animals, including their closest competitors: dogs. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between anatomical factors, environmental conditions, and social dynamics that contribute to these variations in fart exposure rates.

Introduction: While the topic of flatulence has often been approached with humor, this study endeavors to provide a scientific lens through which to examine the prevalence of fart exposure among animals. Horses and dogs, due to their widespread domestication and close interaction with humans, emerge as ideal subjects for this investigation. By comparing their fart exposure rates, we aim to identify potential factors that contribute to the observed differences, thereby unraveling the complexities of this underexplored facet of interspecies interactions.

Methodology: To comprehensively analyze fart exposure rates among horses, dogs, and other animals, we employed an innovative cross-sectional survey approach. Data were collected through surveys administered to veterinarians, pet owners, and animal caregivers, supplemented by direct observations of animal behavior. Participants were asked to recall and document instances of fart exposure involving various animals over a specified timeframe. The collected data were then subjected to rigorous statistical analysis to determine patterns and correlations.

Results: Our study yielded compelling evidence indicating that horses indeed experience a higher frequency of fart exposure compared to other animals, including dogs. Statistical analysis demonstrated a statistically significant difference in fart exposure rates between horses and dogs (p < 0.05). Horses were found to be subjected to fart exposure at a rate approximately 1.5 times higher than dogs, solidifying their position as the primary recipients of this phenomenon.

Discussion: The disparities in fart exposure rates between horses and dogs can be attributed to a combination of anatomical, physiological, and environmental factors. The distinct digestive systems of horses, characterized by their large gut fermenters status, likely contribute to their higher propensity for gas production. Additionally, the size and social dynamics of equine groups, along with their frequent human interaction, may heighten the likelihood of fart exposure incidents.

Conclusion: In this pioneering study, we have successfully demonstrated that horses indeed receive a greater share of fart exposure compared to dogs and other animals. The implications of these findings extend beyond humor, revealing the intricate web of factors that shape interspecies interactions and contribute to the dissemination of gaseous emissions. As we continue to unravel the mysteries of animal behavior and anatomy, a deeper understanding of fart exposure rates among different species may pave the way for more nuanced perspectives on animal welfare, social dynamics, and digestive physiology.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Well glory be to science.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

First of all, do you consider people animals? Cuz people definitely get farted on more than horses. Unless you're talking like a per horse average instead of a quantity of overall farts. Secondly, my dog loves to get all snuggly on the couch and in bed. I definitely fart on my dog far more than I've ever farted on a horse.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

They love it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Poor horses... where is PETA when you need them?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Off somewhere killing someone's beloved pets, probably.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I imagine it must be a priorities thing. Horses usually get treated pretty well compared to most animals.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

At least the French het the PETARD involved.

Bring French for fart.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Didn't know ass mites were a thing. I'm in the shower now washing my ass.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

... wait. you weren't washing your ass before today?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No I was, just not with a wire brush to get the mites off.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I use an angle grinder, gives your cheeks a nice polish as well 😇

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

My ass is groovy now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You're just giving the mites more grooves to hide in.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Just bleach it to begin with, cut out the middle man.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Anal creases

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Is that the girl from Conan The Barbarian?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Omigod. Omigod. I had forgotten.