Facepalm

I think trauma and hardship in general isn't additive, rather multiplicative or exponential.

Like, once there's a "core" trauma, small every day issues seems bigger and harder to deal with, and that kinda builds on itself so any new hardship seems bigger and bigger and so on.

I’m convinced that the vast majority of us are just canon-balling between traumatic event to traumatic event, with no real time to stop and process.

Much of that is just life though. I've always wondered if this misunderstanding is one of the fundamental sources of many people's anxiety.

So we inevitably freak out over something small, without realizing that the level of emotion we feel is a reflection of unresolved trauma, and not indicative of whatever the triggering event is.

For some reason most people assume the "good times" are the default and the "traumatic event" is the outlier. I don't believe that is the case.

The "traumatic event" is the default, the "good times" are the outlier.

So when a traumatic event happens the question isn't "Why did this happen to me?" but rather the statement "That was a really great run of temporary 'good times', now lets deal with this event".

Thats when having money comes in. Many years ago a family member gave me a saged piece of advice when I was young "If you have a problem that can be solved by money, and you have money, you don't have a problem". A flat tire, for many, can be a traumatic event listed above. It can mean finding money you don't have for a new tire, loss of income from missing work, impacts to your family from not being able to pick up your kid from school/daycare, or loss of advancement at work from being considered "unreliably" and being passed over for promotion. Those can all trigger the consequences of "traumatic event". However, if you have a couple hundred bucks unallocated to your name you can immediately lay your hands on and spend, a flat tire isn't a problem, its a mild annoyance.

So having money doesn't remove the "canon-balling between traumatic event to traumatic event", but it removes many events that would otherwise be traumatic leaving you with less trauma overall, and keeping your capacity to deal with the trauma mostly in check with the understanding that life will always give you more as time passes. This also makes you very much appreciate the outlier "good times" when you're experiencing them, because you know they will end.

You should read the book "The Body Keeps the Score"

There are just so many factors that go into a person's experience of life. Even something as simple as being on the older side or the younger side when you first start school can have a giant impact.

When our youngest was just at the age where she was allowed to get up and turn on the TV by herself and watch something while we were sleeping, 9-11 happened. I left the house early for work that morning. When my wife got up, our daughter was terrified. They had repeatedly interrupted Nickelodeon to show the planes hitting the buildings, and she was too young to understand that it was the same planes being shown over and over - she thought planes were falling out of the sky all over and crashing into buildings. She was waiting for one to hit our house. It took a long time before we realized that's what she was thinking. At 27, it's still left lasting issues. If she had been younger, she wouldn't have seen it, and if she had been older she would have likely understood better.

It's true. The Alot does appreciate the benefits of having money, though too much of it is, well, an Alot of a different color entirely.

But also because the world sucks ass and people are getting more comfortable talking about their mental health. Two of the three coworkers I was close to at my job were on the same antidepressant as me. That's not a "I only communicate with similarly fucked up people" thing, these are people I didn't have a choice in meeting. Not that your comment isn't accurate, I think it's also just you're more comfortable talking about your mental health with the friends and communities you're close to.

For me it seems to be the other way around. I never exercised because I didn't feel well. Once I got a grip on my mental issues, I started being more physically active, because it was easier. Mind the difference between cause and consequence!

dragging yourself out of the hole to get up and actually do it it much easier said than done.

That was how my doctor finally convinced me to go on Medication for my depression. I had been totally against it for a long time for a couple of reasons that I won't go into. But my doctor finally made me realize that the drugs aren't the cure. But the cure requires motivation and planning (therapy, schedules, exercise, routines, confronting negative thoughts, etc...) that can be impossible to even get up the energy and motivation to do.

So the drugs exist to basically give your brain the chemical assist it needs in order to get your ass in gear and start the process of getting better.

Weirdos like hanging out with weirdos. The normies are off doing boring shit instead of commenting on Lemmy.