this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

bidet users in states can feel this meme

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Toto makes a handheld battery powered travel bidet, if you didn't know. Instructions are in Japanese, but you can probably figure it out cuz there are illustrations.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

and maybe this is my american ignorance leaking, but a portable bidet sounds hecking gross.... but i'll be a better person and do a bit o research. thanks

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It’s just a spray of water, it doesn’t go on or in your butt

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

i've seen the mess my bidet has done ... i have ibs y'all... i feel like i'd make a mess of things. i'm scared :P

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Okay, that is a very real possibility, I didn’t even think about IBS

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

Did someone just reinvent the Douche and renamed it?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (3 children)

My dude, you're missing out on a world of workplace skiving.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That is until you work in a kitchen where the chef replaced the light with a heat lamp bulb...I admired and hated him

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

That's devious and genius at the same time.

[–] samus12345 3 points 2 years ago

This sentence starts out sounding American and ends up very British.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

signal-2023-08-09-08-51-16-065

Me wishing there were public bidets in the US and feeling dirty when I use non-bidets in an emergency.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Try wiping Nutella off a carpet and you'll know my pain.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Jesus Christ, thanks for that mental image dingleberry

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

The consistency is a variable that depends on your diet. I used to have that problem too, but no more!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I work at a small grocery store and I'm astounded by how often people shit in our public bathroom. Our toilet is extemely popular, and as such is always ripe with the robust smell of shit. It's clear that many of these customers have a routine.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Who cares what toilet you poop in? As long as the toilet is clean. A man’s gotta poo when a man’s gotta poo

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My body shuts down when I'm out of the house, I literally cannot poop unless it's either my own toilet, or a very private and clean place somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

yeah it's the worst. With shy bladder I'm prone to dehydrating myself just so I don't have to worry about using the bathroom when I'm in public

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Home shit home

But yea, at least you know how clean your own toilet is and you can sit for hours on end with no one bothering you

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

I haven't pooped for 3 days

[–] 5redie8 6 points 2 years ago

Imagine not being paid to shit.

-Posting this from the office bathroom

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

Shitbreak won't have a problem shitting at school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Otoh there's nothing more manly than pooping in the dirty public washroom

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

I don't find it manly

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

it's a safe house

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If it bothers you this much why not just keep some cleaning wipes in your car or bag or something and you'll never have to be uncomfortable again.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

You get the same face when you get instant relief 2 seconds before unlocking your door.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I was once like that, until I started working, now I can shit just about everywhere.