this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
384 points (98.5% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] BodilessGaze 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can't divide by zero, so it's undefined. They exist in a quantum superposition of being a chad and a virgin

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

con sidering the average person only ever gets 0:1 i'd say that's pretty good.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Ok hear me out. You never ask out a woman, but you help a friend out by wingmaning for them. This gets you one assist. Now you are 0/0/1 which is an infinite KDA.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

The only winning move is not to play

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"You loose 100% of the shots you don't take"
Checkmate.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think "miss" instead of "loose" works better here, but yeah.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Hell, even just the correct spelling of "Lose" would work better than "loose"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

And if I do not have the objective of making shots?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you're specific and pedantic enough you can be the best at anything

  • The most beautiful, intelligent, and lovable person that wrote this comment
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Guinness Book of World Records would like to know your location

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

When I was in school I asked my first crush if she wanted to go out with me and she said yes.

It was at that moment I realized I had no idea what I was actually doing and never did it again.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I never ask anyone out because what's the point? I've been dancing at a club on Fridays just to have a room with high ceilings and loud music for some flow arts. I've been turning down girls left and right because I'm just there to dance. I gotta find something I can wear to advertise how I just wanna dance and not hook up.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

this sounds shamefully familiar to me