A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
Not a diagnosis, but sounds like depression.
Perhaps counter intuitively, exercise (get that heart rate up and sweat exercise) has always been the most effective for me. Managed my depression for ~25 years that way, such that I only have occasional (temporary) bouts of ennui.
I’d keep up with the touching grass too.
I'd recommend cycling or hiking. Great ways to combine touching grass with exercise. And both great for working through things you have in your mind.
Working out was great for me too, I found the most exhausting thing I could do. Did a 1h class 3 x Week, no need to plan or prep anything, just show up and get absolutely exhausted.
I know how it sou da but you get SO much energy back.
I'm sure many have seen it, but Kersgezat recently put out video that opened my eyes to the less-obvious benefits of exercise.
This was great, thanks!
As a depressive myself, I concur. Sounds like OP is one of us.
The key is finding coping strategies. I exercise every day and lift weights five days a week. That helps me tremendously. As far as exercise goes, you basically try everything until you figure out what you like and a routine that works for you. If your energy peaks at a particular time of day, that's when you should plan to exercise. (For me it's in the morning.)
I also read a lot of books.
Thing is, I don't engage with people much, and that actually helps a lot with my mental health. I have one in-office day a week and that's enough to fill up my social gauge.
If your energy peaks at a particular time of day, that's when you should plan to exercise.
This is very sound advice and I can't believe I didn't think of it.
I hope you find a routine that helps you deal with this. It's tough stuff, but once you figure out what works for you, coping's way easier.
Not necessarily the case, but if it's affecting your life so strongly, you might want to get checked by a medical professional.
Long COVID can destroy your life. Depression can destroy your life. Iron deficiency can ruin your life. A lot of things you might just think is just being tired may actually have a cause. Especially if simple fixes like "touch grass" style clichés do nothing for you.
It's not always the answer, but it's good to rule out in that case.
You may consider getting some labs done. I was deficient in B12 and found taking vitamins did help a bit. Cutting out / back on carbs and beer helps even more.
Not to entirely discount depression, but I have the opinion that we’ve become so addicted to a life of instantaneous everything that even brief moments of nothing happening can feel like withdrawal.
One suggestion: instead of regularly turning off your phone, just permanently put it in silent mode. Really consider what you must know immediately (for me it’s family phone calls) and allow only those notifications to come through. Everything else can wait for you to find the time to get to them.
I also struggle with this so I’m interested in the conversation. I love to read but have a really hard time choosing a book over television. I’m mindful of “blue light” and try to stop using any screen at all after 8pm but that can be difficult if I just want to unwind after a long day. People did it before tv though. I think maybe a less fulfilling life, or life fulfilled less, may actually be more healthy.
One suggestion: instead of regularly turning off your phone, just permanently put it in silent mode.
These days, I even set it to flight mode and vibration only for notifications, and I usually never check my phone during working hours.
I love to read but have a really hard time choosing a book over television.
Have you tried audio books or podcasts? I usually switch off my screens around two hours prior to sleep and tend to listen to podcasts and audio books until I fall asleep. Important to remember is that the voice of the narrator is super important, so make you get one that make you feel comfortable.
I don't even have vibration on. The display will turn on to show notifications but the vast majority of the time my phone is in another room on the charger. I even leave it at home some times.
I've had trouble listening to podcasts while I'm home doing other things. Perhaps I should try audio books and sitting down to do nothing but that. Generally, I don't like audio books for a bunch of reasons but they could be applicable for this issue. Thanks for the suggestion.
Make sure you're well hydrated (with water), eating healthy and regularly, getting regular exercise and have a good sleep schedule. If those are all solid, talk to your dentist about sleep apnea and if a sleep appliance might be right for you, as you may not be breathing well in your sleep.
TIL this is something you’d bring up with your dentist.
Additionally stop looking at screens some time before bed, this influences your sleep negatively. Also avoid alcohol.
Most smart watches track your sleeping quality and some allow you to (manually) log such external interferences for you to reflect what might cause the most distress for your sleep.
For example I had the Amazfit GTS 2 mini, which is quite cheap and the app has this feature.
Something to consider when we talk about disconnecting and "touching grass"... it's not an immediate thing. You need to be vacation for several days before you can genuinely begin to relax and feel and positive effects. So this idea that we can just nip out for 20 minutes and leave our phone behind for serious benefit is pretty much worthless.
So if you're "disconnecting" and you spend the first few days just sleeping or staring at the TV, that's pretty understandable. You're paying off a fair bit of "rest debt".
WRT your update: That's great that you're getting professional help. Make sure (if you aren't already) that the feels you're sharing here are being thoroughly conveyed to your doctor. Medication can be fantastic, but you may benefit more from a different medication. All good things to bring up with your professional.
Good luck!
So if you're "disconnecting" and you spend the first few days just sleeping or staring at the TV, that's pretty understandable. You're paying off a fair bit of "rest debt".
This is actually a very solid point, thanks!
Hard to give much advice without knowing much about your lifestyle, but I try to prioritise sleep above all else. If I need to be up at 6am, I'll make my herbal tea at 8pm and start winding down, be in bed by 9.30 so I can read a bit and be sure I'm asleep by 10. If I'm having trouble sleeping I'll look at cutting caffeine completely, and/or no screens before bed. The other part (for me) is physical activity/ exercise. It's hard to get started when you're exhausted, but once it's a habit, it gives you more reserves. And improves your sleep.
I’m going to piggy back on this, because sleep is incredibly important for me.
But more than that — routine is more important, and you mentioning habits is the way to get there. Want to help yourself sleep better before bed? Maybe walking every day between dinner and rest is what’ll help. I can’t say what works for others, but that’s what works for me, with anxiety/depression. The consistency is key.
Another option for OP is to set goals. They don’t have to be major; maybe it’s signing up for an event (I’ll use a 5k as an example) that’s months away and then training for it. Have reasons to look forward, and not dwell on the present/past.
You are suffering exhaustion as a symptom of your depression? That is what this post sounds like.
Not sure we can help with that.
When I have exhaustion from overwork and cannot immediately adjust my circumstances, giving up (acceptance of what is going on) and more exercise, even if it means less sleep time available, has been the most helpful but it's a short term strategy. The exercise improves my sleep and raises my spirits.
Then eventually the stress ends and I get a migraine :( and then back to my normal.
But I have never suffered depression.
Have you tried therapy?
Are there methods to deal with this sort of exhaustion from... gestures broadly at everything ?
Before you put the blame on everything outside - not being judgemental, it's definitely not going great out there - have you gotten checked out by a doctor? Exhaustion might just be because the world is in shambles, but it's just as likely to be because of something fixable - depression, some thyroid disorders and iron deficiency all present in the same way as what you describe.
Having one good friend is worth more than a thousand aquantances.
It probably seems impossible but exercise is amazing to boost energy. I started going to the gym and I have more energy than ever. It's intimidating to start but after you break through the first barrier of getting there it's easy. There's tons of work out regiments online but if you want more info on how I got started and what I did I'm more than happy to share. Also, eat healthy and drink water. (I can't believe I've become one of these "exercise and eat your greens" people)
It won't solve everything but exercise and eating right can go a long way to ensure you're not antagonizing what I am assuming is your clinical depression that I suspect is what you are in treatment for.
The dealing with "everything" -you could try to find what specific issues are most important to you. Find out what you can do about them locally and participate in doing that perhaps through volunteering or otherwise. -That's what I try to do. Volunteering keeps my mind occupied and engaged in a healthier manner than doom-scrolling. It also makes me feel like I'm contributing to a solution (limited though it may be.) It's also good to figure out and try to accept that which may be beyond your control, but I don't want to overstep.
Another suggestion... have you considered if something in particular might be preventing you from getting good sleep? In my case, I've had restless-leg for quite awhile which was managed by doing some stretches before bed as needed. After a really car car accident, that went into overdrive, the stretches made no obvious difference and so I didn't think that was an issue any more, but apparently I was tossing and turning all night. I'd sleep for 9+ hours and wake up a zombie.
After years of this I finally talked to my doctor about it, we discussed a lot of things and I mentioned how I had previous had the problems with my leg pains at night. He decided to try treating this symptom and suddenly I started getting real sleep again. By now it has gotten so bad that if I forget to take my pills at night, my legs absolutely scream at me the moment I lay down in bed. Yeah I'll be on this med the rest of my life, but I'm getting good sleep now and feeling energetic the day.
The point is, your issue may be something you have already dismissed without realize fully how it affects you. When an unknown problem comes up, sometimes you just have to go back and reevaluate everything.
Sleep apnea is also a potential
That's such a common thing these days that I have to wonder if humans have always had this issue, or if it has anything to do with our modern lifestyles. I was going to do a sleep study at one point, but when I took their questionnaire I checked off no on everything on their list. Then I found out my insurance wouldn't even cover it, and couldn't afford to do the study anyway. Ah well, if I ever get back to a point where I'm having trouble sleeping again then I'll reconsider.
Yeah it's hard to say. There are, at least, a couple of things you can do to mitigate the problem without any professional help
Work less.
Obligatory: this is not medical advice. This is merely my personal experiences. In fact, the only thing I will advise anyone on is that if they feel overwhelmed, they seek advice from a licensed therapist.
So I’ve had a similar problem for the past 9 years. For me, I have to come to the conclusion that I’m in a freeze-state of my dysregulated nervous system.
I’m in weekly talk therapy, and have been working on recognizing the things that have been causing me the most stress, and ways I can deal with or mitigate those things.
And that’s been all fine and good, but I still struggle with getting started on actual activity to help deal with my compounding responsibilities. It’s hard, and some days are better than others.
I used a combination of calendars and reminders to help break down and organize my tasks. I give myself grace if I can’t get them all comply when I initially wanted to finish them, and I try to do at least 2 or 3 things a day ( o matter how small).
Definitely echoing the talk to a medical professional comments. I have pretty severe depression and that sounds a ton like the fatigue I've been dealing with. Especially if youve also been feeling hopeless, irritable, had problems with appetite (too much or too little), problems with sleeping too much or too little, or anything like that.
Classic burn out.
If your diet isn't particularly great I would make a serious consideration to changing your diet, especially if you're getting into your 30s. Lower your carb intake. Get lots of fiber and protein in you consistently.
You've received a lot of great advice that I've seen. Definitely getting labs would be a good first step. I'd suggest working with your therapist on this, honestly. Supposing that you're not dealing with a deficiency or medication issue, it might be important to figure out how long you've been feeling this way, what way it is exactly that you're feeling, and figuring out what to do about it.
Get a sleep lab done and check if you need a CPAP machine.
There is so much most want to do in life. Perhaps you are stretching yourself to thin, trying to do it all at once. Don't see the current lack of something as "killing" your hobbies. They aren't dead, you're working towards those things. It's a plan for the future. Right now you're focusing the energy you have right now on something else (for now).
a good dropperful of liquid vitamin D is good for me once a week. make sure it's enough -- the typical recommended daily values (at least in the US) are pretty low.
have you tried more sex
he said exhaustion, likely he needs less
I can relate, I suffer from anhedonia which sounds like what your describing, I wish there was a quick fix for it because and life can be a chore...very hard to overcome but I believe one day it will happen for us!
Check for Iron and B vitamin deficiency if doc didn't already suggest it.
Try to exhause another side, you will feel better. If your mind is exhaused, then try to run, jumping (rope), pump up your heart rate. THen your mind become clear.
If your muscle is exhause, then sit down and read, use your mind, to forget your body is broken as fuck