While growing up, my migrant parents loved to comment on this and say how an Anglo Saxxon family would have kicked me out when I turned 18. Meanwhile they kicked me out of home at 14 for being gay.
this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2024
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Bro, you should have just gone to church, married a girl you met there, have a family, and do the whole gay thing on the side like all the Republican politicians do when they hit up the RNC convention. Grindr literally crashed from all the activity in Milwaukee when the convention started there :>
It's a joke but I often wonder if this was why my dad was so upset by my coming out. I don't think he's even likely to be gay, but I think that unexplored question in his mind is a black hole now.
Had me in the first half not gonna lie. Sorry to hear that though, I hope you're doing better now
Thank you! Definitely living the dream now 22 years later. Got a husband, two dogs, a cat and my own business.
That sounds enviable, I wish you all the best
Anglo Saxxons do be like that, which is why I'm proud of my Iceni heritage.
^(/s)
Big shout out to your girl Boudicca… nuff respect.
Oof, that sucks. I hope things are better now.
My senior year of highschool, I was 18... And working full time, had an apartment with roommates, and still went to high school.
I had known for years my time was limited living with my parents. When I lived with my dad, one morning he woke me up just to tell me I had maybe months before I had to get out because him and his wife (my step-mom) were going to be trying to have a kid and it was going in my room. Basically it was an eviction notice.
I can definitely say it wasn't easy. Struggled a lot. At one point I'd accepted that I probably wasn't going to live to 21. Yadda yadda, it's been over 20 years and my family is bewildered why I don't visit, or treat them like best friends.
IMO there's a balance of support and sending them out of the nest. My parents did not find that balance and threw me out completely unprepared. It made me homeless for a couple of years
It did teach self-reliance and that I don't need my family in my life to get by. My wife's family is cool as hell though and love them to death
There’s also a balance in asking for rent off your child and making it so they basically have no money for themselves.
My mam likes us all being in the house and we all pay rent to her, but it’s also a payment that is far, far lower than it would be for us all to go out and live on our own.
Oh yeah my parents would take all of my money. At 16 they handed me a brand new car that I A) didnt ask for B) was expected to make the payments , but couldn't afford the payments on a part-time McDonald's employees wages. I also had to pay the insurance, and rent, and buy my own groceries. I ended up getting pushed by my parents to work full time at Mcdonald's, part time at a pizza hut, part time at a grocery store, and keep up with my high-school classes. They then started blaming me for their money troubles because they were taking 100% of my money and to them, that wasn't enough. I couldn't even afford school lunches and went many days without eating anything. Only time I would get to eat is if I stole something from one of my jobs.
At 18 they convinced me to move 700 miles away from home promising they would help with college. That was a lie, so I started working full time for a construction company and full time for a movie theater. I got laid off from the construction, which was my biggest cash flow, so instead of stepping up for their kid, they sent me out the door, took my car, stole the last $300 to my name and told me best of luck.
I don't have much to do with them, and they also try to guilt trip me into moving closer to them or talking to them more. I just tell them "I am how you made me", and thar usually shuts them up
It's fair to be expected to contribute to the family/house if you're an adult and have the means. I stayed with my parents through a lot of covid and helped woth the cooking and groceries. The key thing was it wasn't an ultimatum, it wasn't a hardship on me, and if I hadn't been able to, they wouldn't have minded.
That's a surprisingly controversial take in this thread, unfortunately.
I don't know what I expected from a platform like Lemmy though.
Some of my friends were charged rent. My mother never did. If I lost everything, as long as she was alive and still lived there she'd let me stay. She did this for my brother. Later she told me that the one things she asked him was to have a meal with her once a day. He told her that wasn't happening. She still let him stay. I don't respect the man much though.
I paid 'rent' ie: participated in the family funding of stuff. It felt normal to me. Was only required to participate when I had an income and it was less than what I 'd have to pay living on my own.
It made the entire family's life better.
TBF, that may be a hard promise to keep every single day even if you want to. Assuming the child works.
It's fair that you wouldn't know details, but he moved back home after being fired in his late 20s. He spent little time looking for a long term job and in addition to housing our mother paid for his food and transportation costs.
There goes the benefit of the doubt.
I've actually got a cousin who is basically in the same situation and has been that way all her life. Gonna be really interesting when her parents are gone.
I was told to either start paying rent or get my own place at 18.
Now that I think about it, that was the last time I wasn't living paycheck to paycheck.
I cannot fathom how my children will make it through life in the USA without financial support from us. My immigrant parents, my wife’s immigrant parents, they worked hard to educate us, and we were able to capitalize on that and do well in life. With a good dose of luck, of course. My kids were born into a country in which opportunity is less prevalent than the world I experienced in my 20s and 30s. Maybe they’ll do as well as us, hopefully better. Or, maybe not. I have no clue, they’re just kids. But I will invest everything I have in them. I honestly see little other point to having money.
I honestly see little other point to having money.
What!? You don't want a Scrooge McDuck vault of gold coins to swim through? Are you even American?!
This reminds me of what AOC says about our existing systems being massively scaled up isolation.
I think one of the best things that ever happened to me was my step dad gradually pushing me out of the house when I was around 20. It taught me how to take care of myself. Of course, it's taken me 20 years and I still haven't quite figured it out. It would have been better if they had prepared me, taught me some of the essential skills. That's the real problem, it's not that parents in America make their kids leave the nest, it's that they don't prepare them properly for it first. I feel like I could have done a lot more with my adult life if I hadn't had to spend most of it slowly learning how things worked, through trial and error.
I mean George Costanza moved back in with his parents so there’s always that chance and he’s somehow supposed to be Italian.
My parents didn't wait till I was 18, a week after my 13th birthday they dropped me off at foster care, no warning. I thought we were going to the store.
Damn son that's colder than a polar bear drinking Coors light. I see why you're angry.
If you're working and living at home, yes you should contribute to household expenses. What a strange take.
Yes and no. You should not force your children to do so. Even young adults are not yet fully mentally developed and may still be more teenaged than adult, which is reflective in their behavior. Forcing them out may not bee a good thing. Forcing them out without them being able to provide for themselves is downright awful. Now I know the USA has awful laws in many places, but there should be some to protect people that can't or cannot afford to defend themselves. Young adults are such people.
Were I live parents are forced to pay for the education of their children even after they grow up. At least for the first education.
If you're unable to, then the responsible thing is for your parents to help you out, if they're able to.
There is, however, a point where you start to look after your parents as they age, so if you're a grown adult and working, then you should at least be cost neutral to your folks.
Yes you help your parents when they need help as they age, that is what is done in a healthy family. Most of the times it's a one-way street and I feel like it's most often in the direction indicated in picture above