this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I have a whole bunch of those back at the villa. Let me know if you want some advice on them. 12 denari for a basic model, but if you want a good one, you're looking at a good 8 or 9 nummus aureus.

People think there's some sort of enigma to them. It's like they've never even used one, you know?

Edit: Apologies, I have been visiting the East. By 12, I meant XII and by 8 or 9, I meant VIII or IX.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

XII is an extortion price. How am I supposed to feed my family while paying for something like that. Prices have really gone up ever since Diocletian started messing with the coins. Anyone know how many denarrii I can get for X old school pre-Diocletian denarrii these days?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Every generation believes they invented ~~sex~~ memes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Hey, I've been saying the same thing about discovering postpunk band Tones On Tails for around thirty years now!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Me and my fratres in armis when the barbarorum use the decem foramina instrumentum for knitting.

romans laughing

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Woah, wait. You aren't handling that with your bare hands are you? You dont want to know what the Pharisees do with those things.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's for sizing dowels, right?

[–] threelonmusketeers 4 points 1 month ago

"Dowels" ;)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’m a size xl hand. Make the fingers a little longer. Thanks

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

They're not for making glove fingers! Can you use them for making glove fingers? Sure, and I can haul water by walking my goat back and forth to the well with my chamber pot on her back, but I don't.