this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
128 points (94.4% liked)

Not The Onion

11625 readers
817 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 10 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago

A necropsy performed by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission’s Marine Mammal Pathobiology Lab found the fatal wound was a "14.5 cm long tear in the ventral wall" of his colon.

damn that sucks, unfortunate way to go

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Nothing, the floozy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

A novelty tee

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

cursed upvote

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Florida manatee

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Jason: "Listen, you Argonauts. Tie me to the mast real tight. Those sirens have a great voice, but boy do I not want to meet them."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Poor Hugh.

That's a lot of sentences I never thought I'd read.