this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2024
456 points (93.7% liked)

okmatewanker

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No foul language - i.e. French ๐Ÿคฎ

Obviously satire, dozy wankers

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[โ€“] [email protected] 59 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I do not understand why people are so upset about this. People kill vermin all the time in far more brutal ways.

[โ€“] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago

The only correct answer. Idgaf about some sky rat, but I'd be a little shocked if someone snatched a seagull out of the sky near me and slammed it into a wall until it died.

I'd also not give a shit five minutes later and would probably regale my friends with the story of the seagull slammer.

[โ€“] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Right, this is animal cruelty. There are people who find humane ways to deal with โ€œpestsโ€ or โ€œverminโ€, so the fact that we have extermination practices for some population of animals doesnโ€™t make this okay.

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[โ€“] Lucidlethargy 14 points 10 months ago (5 children)

And those people aren't any more right... Seagulls are actually pretty interesting, long-living, and intelligent creatures. They simply can't compete with humans, that's all.

Humans should be above this sort of thing.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 52 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

There we go.

[โ€“] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago
[โ€“] DJKJuicy 30 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Justified. I was in Edinburgh with my family and we had a lovely outdoor table.

I went to the bathroom and our dinner came out while I was in the bathroom and a seagull STOLE MY GODDAMN ยฃ30 STEAK. Just hopped up on the table next to my brother-in-law and yoinked my medium-rare ribeye.

Fuck those sky-rats.

[โ€“] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Your fault for sitting outside in Edinburgh tbf.

[โ€“] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago

Aye who the fuck leaves a steak unattended in Edinburgh? I'm amazed the seagull got it before a junkie scarfed it

[โ€“] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

As a seagull, I'd have done the same

[โ€“] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (6 children)

As if you wouldn't steal a ยฃ30 pound steak if it had zero consequences and no morals attached, besides that I don't think anything deserves to be abused before getting killed and especially not in public with children watching.

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So you're saying he should had been more effective in killing the seagull in front of the kids

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He just shouldn't have done it, but obviously yes that too.

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[โ€“] DJKJuicy 7 points 10 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

if it had zero consequences

And yet, here there were consequences.

It's just a specific breeding programme and he was culling the failures. #evolution \s

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[โ€“] Lucidlethargy 12 points 10 months ago

I must say, it's brave of you to admit a bird outsmarted you. You must be fun at parties, though.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I'd say the comments section is gross and cynical, but then I remembered this is a British community.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (11 children)

Shouldn't of?

Literacy that matches the opinion

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[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This thread makes me wish i was an alien, not part the same species as this lot.

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'd rather be Fr*nch than a seagull too! Wait, nah, other way around

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Gulls before Gauls.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (4 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Do British people go on vacation and just eat the same bullshit as at home

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Don't want to accidentally eat any of that foreign muck or speak the lingo.

Stick to nice British food, like curry, burgers, Chinese, or pizza.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Seagulls are filth. The more domesticated ones will basically attack you at the beach if there's any food.

Hopefully we get seagull slaying more mainstream.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's gonna end up like pigeons where they used to blot out the sky

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Then we will fight in the shade.

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[โ€“] brown567 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This man did nothing wrong

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Even if we ignore the animal cruelty, he was bri'ish to begin with. There's no absolving that.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

this one is a classic at this point

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Damn didn't know Jeremy Clarkson hated Brighton so much

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

and what? the kids are traumatized for life or some shit?

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Yep, forevermore they will wake screaming at the thought of some geriatric gammon about to grab them by the legs

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I will not... No, I will not, I will not I'm stronger than that. Oh whatever, I'm weak: shouldn't have.

Sorry

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If you of ever been to the beach you would understand. There's plenty to hate but the seagulls are the worst have all have them.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So many in these comments deserve to go the way of that chip.

[โ€“] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Never realised "don't kill animals in front of children" was a hot take, but here we are.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Even hotter take

"Dont kill random animals"

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[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Da kids was crying cos dat bird pinched is chip.

Shud of giv im a medal. Proper geezer.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is this Ephraim Winslow?

The Lighthouse spoileraka Thomas Howard

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