Nice try FBI
this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2024
69 points (90.6% liked)
Asklemmy
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Not today, CIA
Not gonna fall for it, Coast Guard.
You can't fool me, Men in Black
Do I look like a sucker to you Illuminaut... eh, fuck it. They have it all already.
Not twice in a day, NSA
Here's the "you tried" cake, security service of Ukraine
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What search history.....?
I am as perplexed as you are.
Not in the slightest. I donβt care if they know my darkest kinks. Thatβs life. Everyone has something out of the ordinary that appeals to them. I owe no one any explanation for it. Nothing I enjoy is illegal so let them see.
It honestly baffles me that so many people feel so ashamed of liking porn when they logically know that nearly everyone else likes it too.
honestly if the people I know in daily life knew some of the porn I've, um, enjoyed, they would never look at me the same way again, I would have an identity/existential crisis, have to leave town and start all over again rebuilding new relationships with all new acquaintances
That's weird of them... you know they like the same porn, right? Masturbation is a private activity so the porn you watch is your business alone - unless it's made without consent (including cp and beast because they're unable to consent).
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100% and I sure as shit ain't posting it here. π€£
Search history? nah, who cares.
Calculator history? plz don't look, i promise i'm good at math.
Nope. If anything they see shocks them, a) that's their problem, not mine and b) serves them right for snooping
Dear police officers: I'm sure you're excited to begin your journey learning all about electronic engineering and product design!
If you have any questions, drop by any time and I'll be happy to help. I hope you find these hobbies as rewarding as I do.
One day there will be a worm that goes around the internet and will be able to link each comment and/or post to the actual physical person that made them. A global database will be created where anyone can look up an individual person and see everything they've posted on the internet, even if it was behind an anonymous username.
I don't doubt that. And I do fear it. And I'm pretty sure they're already doing it, but the Mass public doesn't have access to it yet, because every time I establish an account somehow Google tries to get involved. You know Google could be that worm to connect everything.
I don't like it because I thrive in anonymity and although I never do anything wrong (like literally if you run a background check on me, it comes back squeaky clean)
whatever the case, I just feel more freedom with anonymity, you know what I mean? That's why I try so hard to not affiliate all my new usernames with Google, but it's all tied together because even if you try to separate Google from anything, they still find a way to get in there.
You can't hide secrets from the future, with math you can try, but I bet in the future they laugh at the half assed schemes and algorithm you amassed to enhance your cryptographs from the past
They got alien technology to make the rainbow tables with.
My recorded search history is so boring. If I have to search for anything sketchy or where I wouldn't want to be inundated with ads related to the search, I do it incognito so the search isn't stored.
Your recorded history may not be stored locally. Would be shocking if Google didn't have some way of de-anonymizing searches.
Spell checks and basic maths.
Yes. The internet.
Is Pornhub a search engine? Cause my queries on there would probably raise some eyebrows.
Oh do Please list them all here π
I'll set the mood for you, here, start with this:
[NSFW]
my search history is just programming/server admin stuff so its likely they wouldn't care/ wouldn't understand or would just get plain bored really quickly lol
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To be honest law enforcement (at least in the IT department of things) would be pretty used to anything at this point so why feel embarrassed?
You'll probably be added to a tally on the wall listed with examples such as: 'How to blow your own dick?' or 'Another Bronie.' or 'Wiki rabbit hole addict.'
Nah, at worst I'm just searching for things I should reasonably know like "do I need to cook X before eating" or something. Why would I ever search for something weird with my search history on?
Librewolf be like:
When I was younger, I'd be mortified. Now? "If into the archives you go, only pain will you find." You didn't have to look, so that's on you, my dude.
I have a habbit of searching my own name a few times a week and sorting by new, to check if my name appears somewhere. It makes sense to me, but I would be self-conscious about it if someone asked me why tf I am looking myself up so often as if I'm famous
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Not a chance I'd be embarrassed. I look up a ton of how to videos and hours upon hours of research on best tools for the job. If anything they'd get bored unless they're planning to do some car repairs.
Porn. It's always porn
Not possible search history get deleted every time I close the browser.
Its all just weird physics and RF stuff, all they would find out is that I am a giant nerd. Some examples: common base colpitts oscillator, inductance calculator, temerature PIN detector FWHM.
"JFC so many searches related to elisp and linux..."
Iβm sure theyβd be thrilled to look into my wanting better turn signals for my car and turn signals at all for my bike.
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