this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
58 points (93.9% liked)

Ask Lemmy

25987 readers
2156 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 19 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 months ago

Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

[–] [email protected] 37 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

If it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Why don’t Chryslers have horns?

Because they say DODGE on the front.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago

I took the kids to Disney land, and when we got close the sign said Disney Land left so we turned around and went home

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

Did you hear what happened to the cyber criminal?

She ransomware

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Badum dum tish

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

🐑🥁🐍

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There is a community for that here.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Stiny 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

Boooo, they said "I" not "I'm"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

When driving past a cemetery: Did you know people who live in this town aren't allowed to be burried there?
Why?
Because they're still alive! They're dying to get in though!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

I like to tell dad jokes.

Sometimes, he laughs.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

A: Didn’t have the guts.

Also

Q: What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly?

A: Stationery.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Did you hear about the guy who fell in the well?

He did not see that well.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I spilled Spot remover on my dog and now he's gone 🥺

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Geese fly in a vee to save energy. Do you know why one side of the vee is longer than the other?

There's more geese on one side.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

My wife didn't believe me when I said I built a car out of spaghetti and meatballs.

She was blown away when I drove pasta.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Sorry for not contributing with the thread, I don't know any of those jokes that works well in English. I'm here to remember Portuguese speakers that there's /c/[email protected] to post this sort of joke.