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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Apprehensive-Fig-825 on 2024-01-20 16:18:14+00:00.
TLDR: i (21 F) am in love with my ex’s brother (23M). i broke up with my ex around 8 months ago, and i’m considering reaching out to his brother.
my ex (20 M) and i were together for four years, and the breakup was mutual. we just outgrew each other. we’re still civil with one another. i realized my ex and i were fundamentally different the longer we were together. however, as i noticed the space between us growing, i found myself getting closer to his brother. his brother and i are similar on every level. i have never met someone who is exactly like me. we had some of the best conversations together, and he made me feel on top of the world. i knew i had feelings for him while i was dating his brother, so i broke up with my boyfriend and distanced myself. it’s been 8 months since the breakup. i ended up falling into an abusive relationship only a couple of months after my long term relationship ended. now i am in a place of singleness and peace for the first time in years, and it feels so good. i am getting to know myself better and am devoting so much time and care and i’m investing in me! this time has allowed me to reflect on the past and be real about my genuine feelings. i know you’re probably going to say that the last thing i need right now is to add a man into my life when it’s going so well, and i would agree if it were any other man. i can’t seem to get him about of my head. we live in the same city. it’s a small city so it’s likely we’ll run into one another eventually. should i reach out? wait to see if he does? hope we run into one another? just say forget it and move on entirely? i’ve exhausted the situation in my own mind so much i don’t even know what to do. please help!!