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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/jmh238 on 2024-01-18 05:32:44+00:00.
I posted recently about my journey in giving up alcohol, and the response was overwhelming
I remember, in a fit of drunken rage over an argument or disagreement I can't even remember, throwing my phone into the wall of my home and completely shattering it. It almost sobered me up (but it didn't). Waking up the next morning, the feeling of shame, embarrassment, and utter despair was overwhelming. One month later, I decided enough was enough, and gave up alcohol that was 9 months ago.
Getting sober is incredibly challenging. Just reaching the decision to stop drinking is a hurdle many cannot overcome.
For me, several things provided support and encouragement:
- A Loving Partner: Sam was my biggest encouragement. She saw firsthand the impact alcohol was having on me, on us, and on my future. So when I told her I was looking at going cold turkey, she didn’t ask “why,” she just said, “Amazing. Let me know how I can help?” To her, this may have just been throwaway support, but for me, it signified that I was making the right choice, and that I had help literally living right beside me.
- A Why: This is almost the most important. You must have a why, or a reason, why you are doing this. Just doing it “because” will not pull you through the dark and tough times. For me, it was putting myself 10 years in the future, looking back on my last 10 years, and being scared of what I might find. Most likely a trail of destruction and underachievement. This thought, and worry, drove me to make the decision, but also through the temptation in the early days.
- A Short-Term Goal: You can’t do this by looking at the future. You have to just take the next step, and take that step every day. I committed to the 75 Hard challenge, which is 75 days of doing 6 tasks, one of them being drinking no alcohol. By doing this, I habit-stacked with other things (2 x workouts a day, 10 pages of reading, 3.6 litres of water, sticking to a diet), and this helped me reach pivotal milestones like 1 day, 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month, 50 days, and then ultimately 75 days. This instilled the habit of saying no to offers of drinks, to dealing with temptation and urges, and ultimately helped push that feeling of needing a drink right down.
- Document Your Process: This also goes hand in hand with exercise. When you give up alcohol, and then couple it with daily exercise, you will be blown away by how you look and feel. You will lose weight, your skin will improve, your mood will improve, and you will start to be creative in ways you never thought you could be. You will start to have deeper conversations and be interested in new things. Document these. Keep a journal, take photos of these things, and daily photos of yourself. By being able to draw on the progress you are making, it will make it harder to go back. I also started a newsletter writing about things I’ve learned called The Champions Journal.
- Tell Your Friends and Family: The hardest thing is having to constantly say no to invitations to pubs, bars, clubs, to drink. You don’t have to say no to the venues, but the alcohol is hard. Explain to your family and friends not only what you are doing, but why you are doing it. If they understand the reasons, they then come on the journey with you and support you. You will no longer be constantly offered or ridiculed for not drinking, but still be included. I took too long to do this, but once I did, the sentiment changed toward what I was doing from these people. It makes it that much easier.
- Download I Am Sober: This is a vanity metric, but to open it each day or week, and see the total number of days since my last drink brings in a sense of gaming. I don’t want my streak to end. I want to see how high I can get it. A little subliminal way of sticking to the course.
Now, these are things that helped me - I’m not saying they will help you, but if you can implement some, or your own, you are well on your way to winning the battle.
It’s tough out there, but the reward, each day, is so worth it.
Society is intricately linked with alcohol. Social gatherings, meals, stress relief, and even dating often involve drinking. Saying 'no' to alcohol means repeatedly refusing these societal norms, which can be incredibly taxing both mentally and physically. The judgment and pressure that come from opting out can be relentless and draining.
Having a support system is indispensable. Positive reinforcement and understanding from those around me were crucial. They acknowledged my choice and created environments where I didn't feel pressured to drink, making my journey more manageable.
Whether you are years in or just thinking about becoming sober - if I can help one person, that is deemed a success for me.