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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/axiom_of_choicee on 2024-01-14 11:38:33+00:00.
Especially in two things: work ethics and financial support.
The thing with work ethic: I am doing my PhD right now, and I am doing the absolute bare minimum which in the 1st year is literally nothing at all. I attend all the classes I have to attend, but classes which are just highly recommended to attend (like seminars, conferences) I just completely ignore. Instead of reading papers which are sent to me, I ask around people to read it for me (and write their answers to my advisor).
Financial support: My family (i.e. parents with whom I live) is poor and in debt. I get some scholarship money from my PhD, but it's just a bit. I have lots of time available to go out and find some work (even if it's just a part-time job, or some freelance stuff).
In both cases, I am just too lazy to do all of that. Why? Because it lies outside of my comfort zone. It physically hurts and repulses me to go get the train to drive to my university for those extra classes, or to actually read a scientific paper. It hurts me to go through the stress of finding/establishing a job and earning money (as stupid as it sounds). I am such a stupid idiot that I'd rather choose to be in my bed doomscrolling YouTube, instead of helping my family or doing my work.
Two questions:
- Why am I not feeling any kind of responsibility and the need to do something?
- How can I change it?
I already got insulted a lot for my behavior previously on the internet (it's not the first time I've written about this, I just deleted my threads and comments) and it actually just made matters worse, and it demotivated the hell out of me (Why should I bother anything, if I am a POS for y'all?).