Stop Drinking

You start the same way you start anything: one step at a time.

Do you want to do this? Do you want to wake up feeling ok? Do you want to stop hiding liquor on your breath, stop making excuses why you can’t do things so you can drink instead? If so, then start.

There is no secret technique. No revelation that will make you stop drinking. It is work. Hard work. You will need to find and confront those things that make you drink. It’s hard and it isn’t fun - but it is worth it.

Say it with me - I will not drink with you today. TODAY. We deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Today, I will not drink with you.

Hey, I've talked to you before in other threads.

I got sober in 2017, but I still remember feeling a lot of what you're describing here. I too had the shame and the hopelessness. I too wanted to die so many times. That was actually the same time when I ended up in the psych ward and jail.

I too had a career that was slowly killing me but where I felt trapped. Things got so bad with the alcohol that I lost that career.

And that bad temper? That's not totally you. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol has a profound psychological impact over time. I still struggle with depression, but I can't even express how much better it is without the alcohol. It's not easy to see how much it's affecting literally everything when you're, as they say, "lost in the sauce." The alcohol is bringing a lot of the anger and feelings of hopelessness. Even when you're not actually drunk, it has a lingering effect.

I'm slightly poorer now, but I found a job I feel good about and that's not killing me. I went through hell to get here, but ultimately I'm thankful to be alive and sober.

You can do it, too. It might not work on your first try, but then try and try again. Eventually you'll find some support, something that works for you.

It also turned out for me that a big part of the alcoholism (and in my case, also opioid addiction) was related to trauma. Yeah. For a lot of us, there's also something we're dealing with. And if you get through this, you can come out an even better person than ever, because you'll know what it's like for people with trauma and addiction. It's made me much more empathetic.

I hope you can get through this and find peace. For me, my rock bottom had to hit pretty hard, but I found a sober life on the other side. If I could do it, you can too.

I'd recommend going to an aa meeting as a first step. There's no judgement there, and they've been in your shoes

You need to give up alcohol right away. Lowering the degree, reducing the amount of alcohol consumed or the number of drunks will not benefit. It is important to remove any alcohol from the house and enlist the support of friends. Understand what makes you want to drink. By resorting to alcohol, a person avoids emotions. It is important to establish their type, to understand how to fix the situation without alcohol. Avoid disruptions. The first few days are not easy to drink. However, over time, the need for alcohol will increase. Focus on the desire for sobriety, do not give in to the urge to drink alcohol. Fight the guilt. During intoxication, a person makes a lot of mistakes. . When the intoxication passes, the realization of what he has done comes. As a result, there is a strong sense of guilt. However, it is impossible to correct the past. Self-destruction will not do any good. It is better to focus on the future and try to avoid such situations.

In addition, you can read several useful books "Changing for Good" by James Prochazka and "Staying Sober" by psychologist Terence Gorsky. I also think you should look online for like-minded people, maybe with online meetings. And I think there are various smartphone apps for getting rid of alcoholism.

Your words are as beautiful as poetry. I can't offer advice because I'm in the same position, but what I can say for sure is that the world is a much better place with you around. If we met in person I think I could endlessly listen to you talk about anything

Im entirely unqualified to comment here, but you are going to have trouble escaping any addiction until you understand what hole the addiction is filling for you, a specific mental or physical pain. If it's just that life sucks and there's nothing to live for, you have to figure that part out first.

You have to build the strength to be vulnerable and open with yourself. It's a process and it's not easy. But there's no other path forward aside from confronting your pain.