this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 78 points 7 months ago (3 children)

He specifically walked on water during a storm, and assuming he wasn't violently moving up and down, he was moving independently of the water, so i expect he would stand still

[–] [email protected] 57 points 7 months ago

If he didn't get affected by the moving water, does that mean he's not walking on water but on air? He's a skywalker.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Well, Jerry and George are Jewish so it still makes sense they'd be puzzled.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"if a Palestinian were walking on water, our weapons could easily target them. Next question."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

In case you wonder why the Israeli government can get away with calling all of their detractors anti-semites, it's because of morons like you saying anti-semitic things like this.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Nothing antisemitic about what I said, you just didn't like it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Sure, Great Mind.

Explain how implying these two American Jews would be happy gunning down Palestinians, very clearly just because they're Jewish and therefore Israeli in some way with the "our" line, isn't anti-semitic?

Especially in this thread that had absolutely no reason to go there?

I'd say this will be good, but we both know you're just going spew the shit that fills your entire being all over the floor.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

??? Conflating Jews with Israel isn't anti-semetic?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

They aren't puzzled because they don't know the answer. They are staring at him wondering what's wrong with him.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's been a while since I've been to church. I thought the storm calmed when Jesus appeared?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Nah, in two of the three Gospels that contain the story, the storm only calms after Jesus gets in the boat. One of them adds a bit where Peter walks out into the storm to meet him. In the third, the boat is just… instantly at its destination once Jesus boards, with no mention of the storm calming.

You might be confusing the separate instance of Jesus sleeping in a boat during a storm and commanding the waters to be still after the disciples wake him.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 7 months ago (2 children)

'Standing on water' implies that he would move if the water moves. If he is staying still in one spot then it means he is standing on space. 🤔

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (3 children)

standing in Earth space would be more accurate no?

otherwise when he turned on his power, he would fly away really fast or explode on the ground as the Earth moves away or into him

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Quantum-locking Jesus is my new headcanon.

I suppose in theory, earth-based time travellers would need to quantum-lock to the earths magnetic field so that when they travel in time they dont end up in a random point in space where the earth was or will be when they departed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Maybe they had to learn it the hard way, and the previous Jesus was what killed the dinosaurs.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

You I like you

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

Jesus should totally be able to river surf.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

I love this Seinfeld meme format

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

I mean do you think if you stood Jesus on a bucket of water and moved the bucket would he move with with the water or only when he comes in contact with the walls of the bucket. Simple test whether he is water locked or just hovering.

[–] can 7 points 7 months ago

Why don't I remember this? Was it a bit cut for syndication?

Anyway, I vote the latter.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Conveyor belt, obviously. Not moving would produce forces on the feet that, if not balanced, would lead to a torquing motion, causing Jesus to spin.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Is the river frozen? ;)