This is an automated archive.
The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/No_Comment_1037 on 2024-01-01 05:08:42+00:00.
M36 - Divorced and commitment phobic- lost on how to end this cycle of modern dating
I am lost in life , have commitment phobia since my teenage years- have been lucky to meet amazing women in life, best experiences of my life. But for one reason or the other as soon as at shit starts getting real I chicken out.
It pains me out so much that I have never been able to commit. I want to believe I am not a bad human being and the two exes I said no to to commit I feel bad for all the pain I passed on to them. I have had my share of bad karma and girls rejecting me in last few years.
I want to move past all the commitment phobia and really want to build a family now in 2024.
I met a decent girl two months ago we are seeing each other - things are okay- she is amazing human, close to family and ambitious in her career but she is not that attractive( I am sorry if I hurt anyone with that comment- just what I feel ). I obviously don’t know how to be in a successful relationship and I fear I am not head over heels with her like I was in my last relationship. I feel that might bother me in future. My biggest fear is if I commit to her and we become exclusive what if I start feeling that I don’t love her and it was mostly to fill the void in life.. I don’t think anyone else can answer this question but any advice how tackle this
And get over this phobia.
I don’t want to break her heart - is it okay if I share my feelings with her and build our relationship ( if it is meant to be it ll happen)
Any advice will be appreciated my intent is to build my life with someone who want to build with me and vice versa.
I hope and pray I can get over fears and by next year I am settled