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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Aryana314 on 2023-12-27 22:22:12+00:00.
So I (43F) am a typical "gifted kid" who did extremely well in school without trying particularly hard. I was diagnosed as ADHD at 40 and am on medication.
At the same time, I have a mom who was extremely controlling and a perfectionist bc she truly believes that making one major mistake can ruin your life. I was chewed out for every B, and there were several as I had a 3.6 in high school. (In her case the mistake was dropping out of school to marry Dad and have me & my sis. They divorced when I was 6 and she came out as a lesbian. She has always believed having kids is why she didn't get to follow her dreams).
So, as you might guess I am not confident when things are challenging. However, I'm in a new work situation that I deeply need financially, and it's contract. They're ramping me up so I can learn the format and what they're looking for, and I'm finding it both slower and a bit harder than I expected.
As a result I'm trying to force myself to work more and being very hard on myself at the same time, which has caused me to completely crash today into a "I don't even want to get out of bed" depression (not diagnosed, the informal sort).
How do I stop getting in my own way and embrace challenges instead of being frustrated/angered/embarrassed by them? The world is certainly not getting any easier and I need to get over this!