this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
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just for dads helping each other

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For me it's if it won't matter in 5 years it doesn't matter now. Kept me from being a tyrant over things like leaving lights on and what not.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Replace "because I said so" with "I'll explain after you do it". You can't forget to explain though.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I remember something similar when I was younger. I don't remember the exact situation, but one day some other adult told me to do something and the reason given was "because I said so". When my mom learned this she told me "because I said so isn't a reason. If someone is asking you to do something, but they can't explain why, you don't have to do it.".

I like your variation. There isn't always time to explain in every situation and always explaining afterwards is a good way to develop trust that you do in fact have a reason.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I'll add another side-effect of always making sure you follow up with the promised explanation.

99% of the time, they don't really want to know "why?", they want to stall. Now they have to sit though an explanation. You can make it as short or long as you want. I.e., there is a cost to asking "why?". Not sure if that's the greatest lesson, ymmv.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

If someone gives you a compliment, accept it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Will it matter next year?

[–] relaymoth 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Never compromise on things that come between you and the ground.

Shoes, mattresses, car tires, etc.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

This needs more attention for sure.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Don't be bitter, be better

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I get uptight about little shit and then I feel horrible for making a fuss about it. There's only so much apologizing you can do before your kids second guess going to you. I've worked on it long and hard but it still comes out before I think first. As much as I try to not be like my parents it still comes out at times. Your advice is really spot on.

One to give out is to think about what needs to be done without asking your partner for a list or whatever. Be the good equal partner and that will help make you a better parent

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

After getting consistently sick when mine where toddlers the doctor suggested this and magically never again. Even when they were running the craziest stomach viruses:
Under no circumstances ever eat leftover food from your kids plate.
Why?
These guys go daily to a virus randomizer incubator (school, daycare, extra activities) and have all sort of asymptomatic things running through their systems.
Food gets mixed with saliva and turns into a culture of the randomized stuff.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Stick them with the pointy end.

[–] Vaginal_blood_fart 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Two of shit. Is still shit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Can you explain this one?