This is an automated archive.
The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/cesound on 2023-12-25 20:15:05+00:00.
If you're contending with a burning feeling inside that has you fed up with your lack of motivation and therein inability to get things done in your life, whether they're deadly important or medial tasks - please read on.
I just came from another conversation in this subreddit and I came away from that conversation realizing just how many young men in particular between the ages 20-40 feel completely misguided and lost, displaced and unmotivated to figure it out. The reason I came away with that conclusion is because after my public exchange in the other thread I received DM's from young men expressing their sorrow in their current meandering and the overwhelming message I received from them is that they're "uncertain how to change things."
So, this post is intended to act as a starting guide to get things moving. I hope this goes far and wide and assists many people, because I feel genuine grievance that life is so miserable for so many, especially when with just a little bit of help...it doesn't have to be.
First and foremost, if you're a person whom constantly deals with negative sabotaging self talk, read the next paragraph. If you're not someone like that, please feel free to skip the next paragraph.
I am going to teach you a technique I picked up along the way in my journey, well, it's more of a hack really. Over time, you've spoken so negatively of yourself that your body has actually had physiological and chemical reactions to it. As a result, you have a bit of work to do! Here is the hack: every morning when you wake up, look at yourself dead in the mirror and tell yourself 10 times "I am worthy of pursuing happiness. I forgive myself and I forgive others. I choose to pursue change." Don't just murmur it, proclaim it and believe it. If you brush your teeth with your right hand normally, brush your teeth with your left hand instead. In doing this, you're creating new neural pathways and you're attaching a message to it, actually reprogramming yourself. It doesn't stop there though, in your normal day to day, do things differently and attache that message to it 10 times. Normally don't do the dishes after you eat dinner? Do the dishes after you have dinner, and tell yourself the same thing 10 times. Anything that you have an option to do a different way than you normally do, do it. Do this for 1 month max, and I guarantee you that you will feel completely different. You will no longer loathe yourself and your focus will be on momentum and progression. When the self loathing thoughts and whispers come, you'll be able to dismiss them with ease because you'll know, this time, you're on a different path.
If you're a writer, great! This next part will be easy for you. If not, it's time to become one! But don't worry, it's not difficult. I have a very simple formula that anyone can do. You absolutely must, must, MUST write things down if you're truly committed to change. You must have four lists, and they are as follows:
- Master List: Everything you desire needs to go in this list. Need a new car? Write it down. Wanting to get into a new hobby? Write it down. Thinking about going back to school? Write it down. Hoping to find a partner in your life? WRITE IT DOWN! Every thing you wish to acquire needs to be clearly worked out in your heart, mind and soul. You need to spend time on this list and really explore yourself within to get an accurate list in front of you.
- Problem List: Everything that is a stumbling block in your life needs to go here. You can write it in point form or in great detail, it's up to you...either way, again with great honesty, everything that needs to be purged from your life that is detrimental to your being must be written here. If you're uncertain what those things might be, you need only search your conscience. Anything your heart speaks to you about, it's in your best interest to listen.
- Action List: Everything that needs to get done has to be written here, including all the things you've neglected to do over considerable periods of time. Small tasks and big tasks alike. If this means having to interact with someone you don't want to, then it's time to interact with someone that you don't want to, simple as that.
- Random List: Things that randomly occur to you regarding your journey needs to go in this list. A question you came up with that needs an answer, write it here. A realization or epiphany you had, write it here. Something that interests you and that you feel compelled to note, note it here. This list can come in handy at very unexpected times.
Now, to really get things moving, this is what needs to happen next: you have to become OBSESSIVE with your lists and executing your pending tasks in particular. You have to obsess over the feeling of crossing another thing off of your list, literally pondering on it day and night. It has to become the center of your desire. Over time as you get more and more things crossed off your list you'll find your momentum increasing a great deal, suddenly you feel great about yourself that you're actually able to observe change, things are getting done and you have the writing in front of your face to prove it and constantly remind yourself. If you choose to commit to operating this way, it's only a matter of time before you become so proficient in your system that you actually won't need to write down anything anymore, though many may still choose to.
I cannot overemphasize the importance of not staying in your head for too long. The action in your life must be equally yoked with your thought. People tend to live in their minds and when they think about things too much they blow it up and way out of proportion, for example take an athlete who has been out of action for a long period of time, they think about how nervous they are about getting back into action and they start thinking they won't perform well, then they get back in the game and perform extraordinarily well and they feel silly as they ask themselves why they allowed themselves to get psyched out...by their own mind! The same thing applies across the board, literally to almost everything. Try not to stay in your head in those looping thoughts, it really is detrimental. You're no good to others, until you're good to yourself. This means putting in maximum effort to exercise patience, good things come to those who are patient. As a society we need to get away from "I want it now" and get back to the "nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight, got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight" kind of mentality.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Every day is another chance, so let's do better in 2024! Cheers!