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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Aaaaaah2023 on 2023-12-22 22:52:21+00:00.
My sister (27) is, to put it mildly, and agent of chaos. She has some mild learning difficulties but is also just really bad with money and has an innate inability to never make good decisions.
After pushing my whole family away for years (in part because they can be a bit overbearing, but also because she had a gf to support her instead) she came back and expected our full support once she left.
While dating her gf she persuaded my parents she wanted and could be trusted with her savings - that she would pay her rent and bills and keep the money for if she lost her job.
4 months later and she has spent every penny. We know it was there when her gf left because she showed my mum the statements. I literally have no idea how she spent it so quickly. She hasn't been on holiday or anything, the only thing I can think of is she has splashed it on nights out with friends or been scammed out of it by someone. Maybe a combination of both idk.
I just...I'm so angry. She earns minimum wage and that was money my parents and grandparents saved through hard times to give to her and she has just spent it on nothing. Her job is totally insecure, ends this month, and now she has no buffer if she can't make rent. She was handed what could have been the deposit for a flat, a lifeline, a huge leg up in life...and she just spent it on nothing. I'd even understand more if she'd spent it on luxury clothing, or some fancy trip to Dubai, but it's just been spent on nothing much as far as I can tell. I have no idea why she would do this, that's all there was so it's not like my parents can give her more.
My parents are so stressed and upset about this because she now is incredibly financially vulnerable, but are convinced it's because of her learning difficultie. But I know she knows better. She's not that stupid.
I'm not sure I can just leave her but I also really don't know how many more times she can pull something like this and not have to deal with the consequences.
My main questions are: A) Should I give her some money so she can keep her flat once her job ends? B) How do you maintain a relationship with someone so hell bent on ruining their own life?
Tldr my sister wasted a very large amount of money and has nothing to show for it. I don't know if I should help her financially or how I maintain a relationship with someone who did something so stupid