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submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 82 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Just play Black Metal, they're wearing corpse paint anyway

[-] [email protected] 47 points 7 months ago

Under the first headline it shows that the sailors were using online platforms to share this tip. This reminds me of those viral messages of recharging your batteries in the microwave.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago

Only one explanation: The whales can access the internet

[-] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

You'd think they'd just use Spotify then instead of hunting music boats

[-] [email protected] 44 points 7 months ago

Yeah when I think about how to calm wild animals down, blasting metal is my go-to.

FFS.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

... I have a cat that falls asleep with loud metal music

[-] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

Cats are just a whole other being of existence. My cat fell asleep next to the wooden cabinet that I'm hammering down at full force, but got scared shitless and zooming to hide when I dropped a spoon.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Because of, or in spite of the music?

[-] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago

SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER

[-] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

WHEN YOUR SEE THE WHITE WHALE

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

BREAK YOUR BACKS AND CRACK YOUR OARS MEN

[-] ObsceneGondolier 10 points 7 months ago

IF YOU WISH TO PREVAIL

[-] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago

Have they considered befriending the whales, or at least bribing them?

[-] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

Killer Whales and humans have a long history of friendship and cooperative hunting. The orcas would lead people to large balleen whales, and the humans would spear them, taking most of the meat, but leaving the lips and tongue as payment to the Orcas.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

This was before we turned their habitat into a toxic sludge superfreeway and exterminated their food supply.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Was thinking something similar. What if the whales just don't like the sailors' taste in heavy metal? Have we tried passing the aux to the whales? This could be a valuable learning experience.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago

Get out of the pit if you can't hang, boat.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago

I promise you, their solution will be "murder the orcas"

[-] meat_popsicle 5 points 7 months ago

…it’s the easy answer so it’s the most likely.

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[-] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

I'm rooting for the orcas. Can't blame them.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

That gen'd? Looks neat apart from text

[-] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

Time to play the game: Is it AI or is it Dutch?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Oh shit it Dutch? Didn't intend to offend, friend.

I can usually kinda tell what a Dutch text says (am norwegian), but this time it was particularly difficult

[-] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Haha I don't think it's actually Dutch, I meant that as a joke lol
Jeg bor også i Norge

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[-] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

It's not dutch. Source: I'm dutch

[-] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Yeah there’s some funky hand/arm stuff too which implies generated art.

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago
[-] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

Honestly we deserve it. Orcas are considered sapient and on par with human intelligence by many experts, and one could argue we're colonizing them.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Its not colonization if you can't change their hearts and minds. Shit, we can't even communicate. This is more like war.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Like genocide.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Colonization requires zero convincing of hearts and minds, where did you get that from?

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Must be playing Metalcore, I'd pummel them too

[-] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

NOW I CAN SEE THE WALES LOOMING OUT OF THE DARK

[-] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLEEESSS!!!!

[-] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Like arrows in the sky

I can't believe my eyes, but it's true

[-] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Split your lungs with blood and thunder!

[-] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

I see an expert in YT saying that you can calm a Cougar with "pspspspsps".

[-] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Maybe they dislike the genre and while some swim away others might tackle the issue more hands on.

The point I'm trying to make is: Have Saylors tried Taylor Swift?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I heard that giving orcas torpedoes deters the attacks, maybe try that next?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Gets orcas pumped and ready to thrash

[-] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

It was all good until the parallel evolution of the orca circle pit

[-] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Gojira really was ahead of it's time https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Qqg8bsDayak

[-] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Kudos for the post title. Well played =)

[-] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Must have accidentally played their favorite song, Go into the Water

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this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2023
718 points (98.5% liked)

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