this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
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Asklemmy

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If a person from 1700 asked you your job, would they understand your answer, and if not, how would you explain it to them? (lemm.ee)
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (5 children)

I'm an in-house consultant for Enterprise Content Management.

[โ€“] [email protected] 44 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Sounds IT-related. Can you fix my printer?

[โ€“] [email protected] 42 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Best I can do is strangle you with a USB cable.

[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Nice. This is my new go-to answer for that question.

[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago

I'm sure your granny will be thrilled.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

If it means I never have to deal with printers again, I'll take it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Can you do 2pm, next Tuesday?

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm down. The safe word is 'wenches'.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Have you been stalking me?

[โ€“] PsychedSy 2 points 8 months ago

Use a micro or mini-b.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

LOL me likey

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Please tell me it's not Opentext...

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Fortunately not. I haven't quite descended to the seventh circle of hell yet.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Exceed is still the only program that handles graphically intense Unix X11 sessions properly for Windows machines. It's still not great though.

Some of us still have to slog through old CAD applications that have long been abandoned.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Im gonna guess, is that a job where you advise a company on how to organize, store, and use "enterprise content" (im gonna guess that's like internal materials like training stuff, internal tools/software)

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Not totally wrong.

[โ€“] dandroid 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I'm thinking of the episode of That '70s Show where Kelso's dad is trying to explain to Kelso what he does for a homework assignment.

Kelso: "OK, let's get started. Question number one, what's your job?"

John: "I'm a senior executive statistical analysis technician."

Kelso: "You're a senior execuโ€ฆ what?"

John: "Well, in plain English, I concatenate the verse statistical information to maximize the potential utilization of data."

Kelso: "So you give people data!"

( Kelso is on the verge of writing it down. )

John: "A lot of people think that. No. My job's not about output, it's about throughput."

Kelso: "So you throughput data!"

John: "Well, now you've lost me, son. Oh, listen Michael, you know the eight tracks you love so much?"

Kelso: "You make them!"

John: "No, but because of us, other people who make them are able to make them better."

Kelso: "So, you fix stuff!"

John: "You could say that..."

( Kelso starts writing. )

John: "But I wouldn't."

( Kelso erases it with frustration. )

And then it keeps going on the like for a while.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes for me.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Huh. Somehow I understand even less what you do than before I read that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

My job is to leverage the core competencies of my employer into win win scenarios by proactively and synergistically reengineering document based processes. I hope that clears it up.