Asklemmy

I was carrying some HVAC equipment down some stairs last year when I accidentally slip a little and the equipment cut my wrist wide open and blood started rushing out like crazy and my hand went numb instant. I immediately put pressure on my wrist to stop the bleeding and my brother drove me to the hospital. That ride there was so intense, I genuinely felt like i might bleed to death, or even have to lose my hand. It was so surreal, I kept thinking how horrible my family, friends, and my girlfriend of 5 years would feel if I died. In that moment I realized they're what matters. My job didn't matter, my social media accounts didn't matter, my materialistic items I owned didn't matter. Just the people who I love. After arriving the doctors did a great job at assuring me I'd be fine. I had surgery 2 days later, however, I couldn't move my wrist or hands for a while. Even now, about 14 months later, half my hand still feels mostly numb all the time, it's super sensitive, the scar is massive and hasn't fully healed, and I can't close my pinky finger no matter how hard I try. It definitely sucked a lot, mostly because I was in between jobs because I had was moving, so I couldn't work and my girlfriend had to cover so much expenses and guilt took over me like crazy and I felt so worthless. Then I felt even worse cause it caused me to gain so much weight, I even started feeling suicidal for a bit. I've learned to accept it though and my life is pretty much back to normal. I wasn't able to do so many simple things like wear pants with buttons, tie my shoes, using toilet paper was a struggle, driving was hard, locking my door was almost impossible because I needed my other hand to pull my door to get it to lock. Late last year I got a job in a retail store and have since gotten 2 promotions and making the most money I've ever made in my life. Around that time I also started eating healthier and I'm down 60 pounds! I'm glad I beat the suicidal thoughts and kept going. Life is awesome.