this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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It was 1am and I couldn't sleep so I was sneaking out trying to make it excuses to my parents about needing a glass of water or something.
My mum was trying to push me out of the kitchen because she was wrapping a present and icing a cake for my birthday as a suprise.
She ushered me into the living room, but instead of going back to the kitchen she got distracted by the telly and sat down.
I thought my dad was watching some weird straight to VHS movie on the community channel. I didn't initially think it was the international news. I sat down and watched for a good 20 minutes, wondering why my parents were so hooked. I was thinking it was like a modern retelling of war of the worlds or something because the whole "movie" so far was just a news broadcast about planes crashing into buildings..... Then I realised this was live news.
I should have caught on sooner, when my dad didn't immediately send me back to bed, he let me stay and watch which he would never do for a movie. I was just old enough to comprehend what was happening, that lives were being lost and thousands of people in America were left hopeless and in crises. But not old enough to imagine what this could mean for the world going forward, and not really old enough to understand that it was a planned terror attack. I remember asking mum if I should cancel my birthday party, and my dad asked why, then my mum and dad argued over it because mum agreed it wasn't a day for celebrating, but dad argued that it shouldn't matter, America was on the other side of the planet and we didn't personally know anyone. I went to bed while they were yelling and I guess mum won because we rescheduled the party for a week later.
What a strange morning that was for everyone world-wide, I imagine. How weird that it would happen on your birthday!! I think we all were in shock, but I never did fully process it. I live in Utah, very far away from where it happened, and it was on a bright sunny morning and I was feeling pretty good, even though I was on my way to work.
At work everyone was in tears and that's when I realized the huge tragedy of it all. And felt the anger. But really, it was also a feeling of helplessness, what could you do, but sit and watch it all over and over again on the news. I still think I have never really processed my feelings about it -- I was kind of numb all day long and for months afterward.