But I’m not. Antivaxxers need to appear infallible. They can’t be seen being wing or to blame for anything.

There’s no way one would admit that a loved one blamed them for their death.

It's just too weird.

One that he would bother to admit it.

Two, even if he had the self awareness to reflect upon it, how "coy" he was being.

• First a vague reference that no one could possibly react to except to ask for details if they had their interest piqued.
• Then a follow-up to make it more pointed, but still conspicuously omitting the actual meat of the situation. Seemingly calibrated to try to elicit engagement after the first attempt failed
• Finally sharing the meat of the situation only after a little engagement and direct question

Yup. I used to follow a YouTube channel run by a couple, then they had a harsh breakup and she left the channel. Some time later she comes forward with allegations of abuse against him, and I’m like “okay but this is just her side of the story, what if it’s all bullshit?”.

Then he addressed the allegations. The way he addressed them, to me, was exposing himself FAR more than anything she said. It was like watching a movie villain monologue. Really scary how skewed those people’s perceptions are.

Absolutely correct this post comes off as "This is the bad thing my wife said to me before she died and I'm too oblivious to realize it was my fault". I've seen the same shit with couples looking for validation after a nasty breakup.